A self-confessed porn addict is sueing Apple after he claims he became so hooked on watching rude videos that his wife left him.
Tennessee man Chris Sevier, 36, has filed a 50-page complaint with the state's supreme court in which he slams the fruity firm for failing to install a blue movie filter on new devices.
He wants Apple to make sure customers aren't automatically allowed to watch pornography, which he brands a "silent poisoner" and blames for everything from sex trafficking to the exploding number of late night commercials for Viagra. He is seeking damages from the company.
Sevier claimed his problem began when he opened the Safari browser and made a few mistakes when typing Facebook into the URL bar. Sadly, he ended up at a site called Fuckbook which blatantly "appealed to his biological sensibilities as a male", the complaint read.
The filing said: "The Plaintiff began to prefer the cyber beauties over his wife, which caused his marriage to fail. His wife [left him], which was a subsequent consequence of Apple's decision to to sell its computers not on 'safe mode'."
He is also seeking damages because of becoming so "depressed and despondent" that he was unable to work.
Worse yet, Apple is putting "brick and mortar or 'mom and pop' porn shops" out of business, claimed the plaintiff, although it is unrelated to his complaint and he does not seem to be seeking damages for this infraction.
Worst of all, the filing reads, none of the shiny happy fanbois and fangurlz at the Apple store warned him what arousing evils were lurking out there on the internet.
The filing added: "No one at the Apple Store warned him that looking at pornographic images and videos could cause addictions, to include arousal addiction, or that the device could be the gateway to accessing content that could cause a rewiring of his brain, which led to the demise of his family, unemployment and unwanted changes in lifestyle.
"Just because porn is legal does not mean Apple is not aware it is harmful."
We would continue to pick out the many vivid descriptions in the legal filing, but this article would be several thousands of words longer. Click here to read exactly why Sevier blames the fruity firm for his addiction to sexy streaming videos.
The plaintiff said he had first bought a Macbook Pro so he could make electronic music in a band called Ghost Wars.
In order to illustrate the plight of the smut-lover, Sevier appended a link to a music video to his legal complaint which he thinks will "summarise the issues in the lawsuit".
Are you a porn addict? Has Tim Cook ruined your marriage? Let us know. ®
* Sevier has been described as a practising lawyer on other news sites, but according to records (PDF) from the Tennessee Board of Professional Responsibility, he cannot currently practise law due to disability. The Register cannot confirm his marital status.