On the internet there are certain things you can be pretty sure of. Nubile young women lusting after you probably aren't (any of those things); free stuff almost certainly isn't free, and may not even be stuff; and after 5pm San Francisco time on Friday there probably won't be anything decent published on the Register until the Australian Vultures have had their first cup of coffee on Monday.
We can't do anything about the non-vixens and the free lunches, but we have decided to see if we can't tackle the problem of the aching el-Reg void at the weekend. Accordingly, this very Friday 22nd of August, we shall be opening up a big can of Register whup-ass in the form of our spanking new Weekend Edition. In time there may be an excitingly chunky new design of some sort, but this being in the nature of a soft launch we'll begin simply with a new section on the trusty old Register.
The weekend Reg will contain a mixture of old favourites such as the BOFH, QuoTW, the musings of technology tart Alistair Dabbs and others which have until now mostly appeared on Fridays (some still will - for Register purposes, the weekend will commence around British Friday lunchtime). Comments of the Week will return, with substantial input from sophisticated Big Data analysis of upvotes and downvotes submitted by our loyal commentards.
There'll also be new specially commissioned reviews, generally of things unrelated to work such as books, movies, cars or indeed anything that enough of you demand and we can get hold of (suggestions to Features Editor Bob Dormon). Scandium cartel overlord-in-waiting and freestyle economics buff Tim Worstall - unshackled completely from even the vaguest of IT angles in a new weekend column - will furnish you with material for a lively row in the pub or around the dinner table.
This weekend we'll also be unveiling the full data version of our fabulous Monopoly board pubcrawl 3G/4G interactive coverage mapmash, from ace Vulture Simon Rockman in partnership with mobile tech wizards GWS. This involved a lot of complicated equipment, a dab of data bigness, a modicum of driving around in electric cars and - in the interests of thoroughness - a good deal of testing on foot inside pubs with full realism*. We expect this map to become the definitive reference point when discussing mobile data coverage in the British capital (especially within pubs, which is the type of practical information you will find quite literally nowhere else).
You can look forward also to an exciting foray into news videocast coverage, with selected items presented from Vulture News Central by our new digital avatar anchorbeing Regina Eggbert, created using pioneering lean-CGI techniques developed entirely in-house.
As the weeks roll by there will be all kinds of other goodies. We'll also now have breaking news coverage and social media frolics on Saturdays and Sundays, mostly from freshly crowned Weekend Editor Kelly Fiveash. Comments will also be modded should they require it, and (most importantly) story tips sent to news(at)theregister.com or via the "Tips and Corrections" button will henceforth be read and acted on before Monday, so keep 'em coming.
The offering will naturally be adjusted and moulded as we go on, so please do share your thoughts with us. Also, if you like the Weekend Register (or don't really like it but nonetheless think we should keep the site active at the weekend) remember to check in on Saturday and/or Sunday. The fact is that we're unlikely to keep producing it if nobody reads it!
See you around this weekend. ®
*Complete with containers of beer - variably full - placed adjacent to the kit, in order to create a fully realistic RF blocking environment.