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Apple's iPhone 6 can REVERSE BALDNESS (and cause it, too)
Is there no problem the Jesus Phone can't
cause, er, solve?
We've all suspected Apple's Jesus Phone can perform miracles, but few of us suspected it could perform the remarkable task of causing hairs to grow from bald men's heads.
But now it has emerged that a number of bald men have claimed the new iPhone 6 Plus has ripped hairs from their fur-free noggins. Seeing as they don't appear to have any hair up there, we can only assume Apple has managed to create new ones - a truly impressive achievement.
Fresh from the shock that was Apple's Bendgate, fanbois and fangurlz have called this threat to their iDyllic existence Hairgate. Several people claim the new iPhone 6 Plus has torn strands of hair out of its loving users' noggins.
But after the “story”, erm, “broke” on Business Insider, it became immediately clear that a number of baldies seem to have been affected by the new bug.
Graham Cracker describes himself in the following terms: "Speaker, teacher, discipler, computer geek; God smashed me in worship service, I'm new, free, forgiven and committed to Him; Me=Minister Of Reconciliation."
He also appears to be bald, which hasn't stopped him being caught up in the nightmare that is Hairgate.
@9to5Community My iPhone 6+ was pulling my hair too; I returned it, it was underwhelming:(— Graham Cracker (@grmcrkrs) October 3, 2014
Twitter user @Kavan describes himself as "recovering Night Nurse addict and eater of Cheese" – both of which are known to cause bad dreams.
So did a hefty dose of cough syrup and Emmental make this chrome-domed iPhone user fear Apple was stealing his hair?
My hair keeps getting caught in the microscopic seam between glass and aluminium on my iPhone 6— Kavan (@KavKilledKenny) October 1, 2014
Chad Coleman is also challenged in the follicle department, which hasn't stopped him having a hair-related run-in with the "friggin awesome" iPhone 6 Plus. And yes commentards, we know he's talking about his beard.
This bloke appears to be a chicken, which doesn't bode well for the accuracy of his claims.
The seam on my iPhone 6 where the aluminum meets the glass is definitely catching my hair and pulling it out. #seamgate— Paul Peavler (@CardMeHD) September 28, 2014
Has your baldy pate suddenly spouted hair? Have you seen the Jesus Phone perform a miracle or have you been affected by Hairgate? Let us know. We care about your bare bonce. ®