The head of Apple partner Foxconn has blamed the flexible iPhone 6 scandal — now using the grimly predictable suffix "gate" — on nasty, gossiping rivals.
"Bendgate" video bloggers claim the new iPhone, when strapped to fanbois' thighs, has been losing its shape quicker than Man Utd's back four. CEO Terry Gou maintains that people need to stop trying to bend their phones, and said claims that the phones were bendy were simply (pardon the pun) "distortions".
"How can a phone bend?" wondered Gou in a philosophical moment. "This was all caused by distortions from competitors [or an external load prompting torsional pressure, according to the clips we've seen]. Don't blindly listen to it."
Speaking to a gaggle of TV reporters, the Foxconn supremo also claimed to not understand why fanbois had become obsessed with trying to wrestle their mobes into new shapes.
“Hands are made* to shake hands, not for bending,” he advised.
It's enough to make you all Gou-ey inside. ®
* Yes, any number of evolutionary biologists might take issue with the concept of hands being "made".