Apple Watch buyers will feel 'different' after being 'serviced' in spring 2015
It's a, er, neverending marathon of touching - ex-Burberry boss
What will you be buying your loved one for Valentine's Day next year? Not an Apple Watch, it seems, as this much-anticipated gizmo is now set to be released in the spring of 2015.
Apple retail supremo Angela Ahrendts revealed the timing of the release in a leaked video message.
In a rather saucy-sounding missive, the former Burberry boss told iSlaves to focus on "touching" shop customers and reminded them that all employees should know how to "service" members of the public.
"How do you make sure they (every customer that you touch) will walk away feeling very different, very positive?," pondered Ahrendts.
The obvious answer would be to sell them a very expensive piece of consumer tech and mainline the reality distortion right into their greedy veins. But Ahrendts told her staff Apple fans expected, well, a more fruity kind of interaction.
"You know how to service customers, but we are sprinting a marathon right now and it's not going to stop," she continued. Right?
"We're going into the holidays, we'll go into Chinese New Year and then we've got a new watch launch coming in the spring."
If you're been following, the Apple Watch has always been slated for release at some point at the beginning of 2015. This is the closest we've got to a release date proper, although previous reports suggested the wearable would struggle to be released in time for 14 February.
All of which means fanbois and gurlz will probably need a bit of touching next spring, because when Valentine's Day comes they could be forced to buy their lovers a Galaxy Gear smartband or, worse, a cheapo Fitbit, rather a proper Apple Watch. Both dumpable offences, we're sure.
So when spring has sprung, expect a lot of single fanfolk to descend upon Apple stores, bare-wristed and looking to be both touched and serviced over the Genius Bar.
April really is the cruellest month when you're working for Apple. ®