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NEWSFLASH: You may already have seen Steve Jobs' willy
Sort of... Michael Fassbender's member has been around
He's an actor with one of the most famous penises in Hollywood. Now the notoriously well-endowed superstar Michael Fassbender is set to play the tech world's "biggest dick": Steve Jobs.
Fassbender is the latest high profile actor to be named as the star of an upcoming biopic about the Apple godhead. He will don the black turtleneck to play the lead role in Academy Award-winning screenwriter Aaron Sorkin's film about the Apple co-founder.
The film has had more refreshes than an iPhone, with both Christian Bale and Leonardo DiCaprio pulling out of playing the fruity fuhrer.
Sony were originally slated to produce the film, but pulled out just last week. Universal has now stepped in to back the film, which is based on Walter Isaacson's biography Steve Jobs and will be directed by British director Danny Boyle.
The film is expected to focus on three stages of Jobs' life and focus on his troubled relationship with his daughter Lisa. Jobs denied being Lisa's biological father, before patching things up later in his life.
Sorkin, who also wrote Zuckerberg biopic The Social Network, said: "In the case of Steve Jobs, it's the relationships he had — particularly with his daughter, Lisa — that drew me to it.
"She didn't participate in Walter Isaacson's book, because her father was alive at the time, and she didn't want to alienate either of her parents, so I was very grateful that she was willing to spend time with me. She is the heroine of the movie."
If you'll allow us to step back into the gutter for a second, we would remind you that most film-goers have had a good old ogle of Fassbender's iThing, which has been unveiled in films including Shame.
According to a breathless Tumblr fanpage, the star is so blessed that doesn't even need to take his clothes off for the general public to behold his mighty pecker.
Fassbender has claimed that all the chat about his most famous asset was sexual harrassment.
"It wouldn’t be acceptable. It would be seen as sexual harassment, people saying [to an actress]: 'Your vagina …' You know?'"
Anyway, Mr Bender, if we can just get back to talking about that thing of yours... ®