At the CES gadget show, the news wizards of the BBC managed somehow to obtain "an exclusive look"* at a miraculous new technology which promises to allow an ordinary Samsung smartphone to be fully charged up** in "less time than it takes to boil a kettle".
"I've just been witness to what feels like a modern-day technological miracle," ejaculates the Beeb's Leo Kelion, witnessing the wondrousness.
Well hold onto your post-ironic porkpie hats, BBC, because we here at El Reg #VultureTRENDING have gone one better. In an even more journalistically valid scoop, we've managed to discover a technological miracle which allows a Samsung smartphone to be recharged even faster, in just sixteen seconds, and – get this – WIRELESSLY and with only cheap, basic equipment.
It may or may not be true that a picture is worth a thousand words, but it's definitely true that a video is worth a thousand words***, so here's the stunning vid:
There: that's a technological miracle that you can buy right now. You can carry it around in your pocket and use it without needing so much as a wall socket.
Unless, of course, you have an iPhone. Which might offer a clue as to which consumer demographic it is that finds fast-charging of phones to be a modern-day technological miracle. ®
**Well, not really. A special, crap battery that doesn't last very long can be fully charged up fairly quickly.
***In terms of ad revenue anyway. A fact the BBC are well aware of as they put ads on their overseas web traffic, the statistics on which they refuse to divulge (claiming the "journalism" exemption from the Freedom of Information Act). #statefundedandstealingbreadfromourmouths