This boat can move 234,989 cubic pink elephants! (honest)

True Reg readers know it's all about the JUBS

2 Reg comments Got Tips?

CoTW A big boat came to Britain this week, and boy oh boy did the BBC spaff its pants with joy.

Following up on Al-Beeb's breathless report of the CSCL Globe making a port call at Felixstowe, our own Lester Haines of the Special Projects Bureau commented on the state broadcaster's Olympic-sized field day.

As for you lot, however, you just couldn't resist. In response to someone moaning that our article was "incomplete" because a completely different ship which can shift more magic black holes might be launched 52 days from now, top 'tard Flyberius said:

Great scott! That's 2496 episodes of Eastenders. If you would care to imagine it.

He was quickly followed by maffski, who added:

Imagine it is all you can do, such long term exposure to depressive influences causing suicide in all test subjects.

The world record for contiguous Eastenders viewing without self-slaughter being 84.37 episodes (Toxteth O'Grady, USA).

Admit it, you two used to work at Guantanamo Bay, didn't you? Of course, regular readers will know all about the Reg standards converter, available here if you want to work out how many of Paris Hilton's breasts are equivalent to the cargo capacity of the CSCL Globe.

Meanwhile, in a rare outbreak of political news, earlier this week the UK Independence Party website went TITSUP after Nigel Farage's political bandwagon forgot to pay their hosting bills. After the predictable bunfight broke out in the comments, silver-badged commentard boltar posted:

"Give them some credit - they've got their racists and homophobes in place."

Cut & paste from the guardian was it? FYI Ukip is currently the only party to ban former BNP members from joining. Perhaps you halfwit metro liberals should check your facts first.

He does make a factual point - which got 21 upvotes - although 48 downvotes could reflect anything. Perhaps UKIP support isn't cool below the line at El Reg.

Screeching in with a very close second to this week's Golden Vulture Dropping of Excellence is bronze-badged 'tard BongoJoe, who - on last week's story about a crap car - said:

I wonder if I am the sort of person then that this pile of crap is aimed towards. I know bugger all about cars, I see them as a tool nothing more or nothing less.

I want to knw if I can get myself, wife, dog and assorted wheelchairs and what-not into the thing, whether I can get half a ton of wood in the back and up my lane to the cottage. If I can, then I am interested.

I don't even know the model number of the Landie that I have nor do I know the registration number come to that (I can recognise the thing in a carpark; it's the one that recently caught fire) and that's enough for me...

You can read his full, excellent, missive at the link above. Yet there's better to come...

The Wooden Twig of Fail

Scooping our award for the dullest, most irrelevant or just generally pointless comment of the week is this from the ever-popular Anonymous Coward, on the news that the NHS deliberately issued a leaflet about the info-slurping scheme even after it had been told that the leaflet was "unfit for purpose":

It's only your personal data if it has your personal details on it.

It doesn't and wouldn't have. Anonymised data is already used widely.

How on else are you supposed to show the effective use of treatments and drugs without allowing people to analyse the data?

People share a lot more data with Nectar cards and loyalty cards. They know where you've been, what date and what you've bought.

62 downvotes later, it's plain to see what everyone thinks of this. So we won't harp on. Enjoy the twig, AC!

Comment of the Week

Taking home this week's Golden Vulture Dropping of Excellence is commentard Barry Rueger, who left a very pithy offering on the news that hotel chain Marriott really, really wants to block personal Wi-Fi hotspots that guests use to avoid ridiculous hotel Wi-Fi charges:

Lord almighty. Just once can't a corporation have the balls to say "Because we're greedy, that's why."

Strong opinion, clearly and succinctly expressed - and with 51 upvotes. We love it.

Goodbye, print safely. ®


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