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'People ACTUALLY CONFUSE Facebook and the internet in some places'

Plus: brags about 'successful' ID scheme

QuotW Ex-Googler, Facebook COO and mouthpiece Sheryl Sandberg claimed this week that some users (sorry, people) actually think that Mark Zuckerberg's free-content ad network is the internet.

This shocking assertion came as Zuck's Number Two defended a bullshit report from consultancy firm Deloitte, which claimed that Facebook's global economic value was greater than Portugal's GDP in 2013, more about which later.

Sandberg told the Wall Street Journal:

We know Facebook is one of the main drivers of why people buy phones, particularly in the developing world.

People will walk into phone stores and say 'I want Facebook'. People actually confuse Facebook and the internet in some places.

To be fair to the billionaire exec, folk are regularly baffled by what the internet actually is. For some it's obvious that the internet is Internet Explorer – since, y'know, the hint is there in the name. While others might turn to their partner and wildly exclaim "the internet is broken" when their broadband connection is fried.

We've all been there, Sandberg.

Is Google Internet Explorer?

Who knew? Microsoft does rule the world

Is Facebook Internet Explorer?

Is this what really happens when users (sorry, people) walk into a phone shop?

Meanwhile, tucked away in the strobe light-flickering corners of the interwebulator, 4chan administrator Chris "Moot" Poole said he was retiring from the anarchic message board he founded eleven years ago at the tender age of 15.

He said:

After more than a decade of service, I've decided it's time for me to move on.

Awwww, bless.

Sony continued this week to be haunted by the massive hack attack on its film studio systems late last year.

It's now saying that its third-quarter financial results will be delayed as Sony Pictures struggles to get its accounting applications back online.

The company explained that staff won't meet its current 16 February deadline:

[This was] due to the amount of destruction and disruption that occurred, and the care necessary to avoid further damage by prematurely restarting functions.

It's been a miserable seven days for eBay, too, after the loss-making online tat bazaar confirmed plans to axe 2,400 employees – roughly 7 per cent of its workforce.

In a canned statement, eBay failed to use the word "synergy", but still did an excellent job of spooking its staffers ...

Eliminating jobs is never easy. But these decisions were necessary at eBay, PayPal and eBay Enterprise to simplify these organisations, reduce complexity, speed decision making and create competitive cost structures.

Here in Britain, the UK government continued its fine record of making a failed IT project appear to be a roaring success.

Yes, we're looking at you, GDS – again.

In a trial of its wobbly Verify ID assurance system, the Government Digital Service team characterised the results as being "successful", even though 40 per cent of online self assessment tax users were unable to identify themselves on the service.

But then, it's not the winning that counts, right? It's the taking part. Keep up the good work, guys!

And finally, back to Portugal. We were sad to report earlier this week that some grumpy Portuguese types were a bit put out by our "distasteful" headline suggesting that Facebook was more important to humanity than the country that boasts beautiful coastline, delicious food, wine, sunshine and many industries.

Nevermind that we were merely lampooning that utterly pathetic Deloitte report, which was paid for by Facebook.

Pleasingly, having sought reassurance from our readers, a poll came out heavily in favour of Portugal, with 2,682 of you – at time of writing – agreeing that it was way more important to the human race than Facebook. Phew.

But still, 358 of you, yes, THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-EIGHT OF YOU favoured Facebook over Portugal. Here's hoping these are the same silly saps who think Facebook is the internet. The deluded fools. ®


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