Oi, Kanye. BEYONCE deserves that gTLD more than you do

Plus: O noble mobile gods! Bestow upon us a bar!

CoTW Bronze-badged reader thomas k. opened this week's batting with a right corker about Kanye West and Beyonce.

On the news that Kanye West is launching a new website on a new global top level domain, he said:

I think ... Beyonce deserves that gTLD more than he does.

The Great Tardmangling Machine isn't quite sure what this is a reference to. Perhaps someone could enlighten us in the comments below?

Moving on, Arthur the cat had a nice take on that perennial bane of countryside living, crap mobile signal:

Usually, whenever I absolutely need directions, or to look up a phone number or something, there's no signal and finding one involves sprinting up the nearest hill or climbing a flagpole and standing on one leg, waving the phone in one hand and sacrificing a chicken with the other, at which point the gods of telephony give me one bar for 3.8 seconds before they start giggling and take it away again.

We liked the idea of sacrificing a chicken one-handed. If nothing else it made the Great Tardmangling Machine's circuitry boggle at the possibilities.

Elsewhere, this – underneath the news that someone is seriously selling an Ethernet cable for $10,000 – was one of the most insightful comments we've seen at the start of a 6-page comment thread:

So Stupid

This is so stupid it is not even worth commenting on.

There followed many a comment, in true Reg reader style. Oh, you guys.

And what week on The Register would be complete without a little light mobe-baiting? After the latest Windows Phone update borked a whole load of Microsoft Lumias, an Anonymous Coward helpfully piped up with:

Just for the record: My iPhone 6+ still working fine

If that helps anyone.

50+ downvotes and a whole load of angry flaming later (samples: "Tit!", "Q: How do you know when a complete wanker has an iPhone? A: They tell you" and "What is a Windows Phone – never heard of it"), it seems that didn't really help anyone. Gave us a laugh, anyway.

The Wooden Twig of Fail

Awarded to the Reg reader who makes the worst comment, as judged by a combination of your downvotes and the Great Tardmangling Machine, this week's Wooden Twig of Fail goes to an Anonymous Coward, who blames older, more experienced IT workers for pricing themselves out of the market.

Grey beards pricing themselves out of the market

Often inflexible, unwilling to adapt and walk around with a sense of self centred entitlement. No wonder I prefer to hire people a few years into their careers whilst they are still keen to work hard and learn plenty. Not all old gits fall into this category but many do.

My advice to those new to IT is get into mainframe tech. A bloody dearth of these around due to dumb ass outsourcing to offshore clowns, but still a highly sought skill in the enterprise IT.

My advice to anyone still in IT is keep developing yourself and learning new skills.

Good advice at the end, but as for the rest of it ...! We think more than a few Reg readers will be reaching for their blood pressure pills and wheeling themselves to the computer desk in rage.

The Golden Vulture Dropping of Excellence

Taking home this week's award for the best comment in the previous seven days is Electron Shepherd, whose views on the Samsung spy telly scandal bear repeating in full:

What they said:

"This seems to be caused by an error, and we are currently conducting a full and thorough investigation into the cause as our top priority."

"This situation has so far been reported only in Australia."

What they meant

"This was actually caused by our marketing department conducting a subtle survey to gauge reaction to making it mandatory for all content viewed on a Samsung device to include adverts."

"We're still negotiating our fees with Pepsi in other regions."

How cynical. How distrusting. How very Register.

Goodbye, print safely. ®