Apple swears that NO FANBOI will queue for its new gumble
That's right, take your Hello Kitty backpacks and shove off
Angela Ahrendts, head of retail at Apple, has ordered her grunts to discourage fanbois from queuing outside its stores, according to a leaked memo.
Back when the iPhone 6 release date neared, fans could be seen queuing for weeks to be among the first to buy one.
"It's like heroin," one told The Register, displaying a shocking unfamiliarity with the work of Irvine Welsh.
Some fanbois, however, avoided these queues and ordered the iPhone 6 online instead.
In a memo leaked to Business Insider, Apple's head of retail, Angela Ahrendts, ordered her grunts to encourage this form of consumption and discourage the aberrant online ordering behaviour of its most disturbing customers.
"The days of waiting in line and crossing fingers for a product are over for our customers," Ahrendts declared to her peons, amid rumours that the Apple Watch will not be available to buy in-store at all.
Business Insider also warns customers hoping to walk into an Apple Store "to see or play with an Apple Watch" that they may be disappointed.
The leaked image, designed to help employees understand how the timepiece will integrate with existing store displays, shows that the watches will be "displayed under glass embedded in the table. The products will NOT be on little stands or attached to security chains (the way iPhones are). Customers without an appointment will not be able to pick them up and try them on. And they'll be told they can't get anywhere near them without an appointment — which they should make online."
Ahrendts informed her troops that this "is a significant change in mindset, and we need your help to make it happen. Tell your customers we have more availability online, and show them how easy it is to order. You’ll make their day." ®