Selfie sticks BANNED by Apple: No hipster tools' tools allowed at WWDC

Narcissis-sticks outlawed at app-maker confab in June

Apple is selling tickets to this year's Worldwide Developers Conference – though if you get hold of one, leave your selfie stick in the hotel room.

Those wishing to attend have until Friday to register for Cupertino's lottery system.

The confab will be held between June 8 and 12 in San Francisco's Moscone West conference center. Apple is expected to show off new builds of OS X and possibly the first look at iOS 9 for those lucky enough to have their ticket requests pulled out of the hat.

"The App Store ignited an app ecosystem that is simply amazing, forever changing the lives of customers and creating millions of jobs worldwide," gushed Philip Schiller, Apple's senior vice president of marketing in a canned statement.

"We've got incredible new technologies for iOS and OS X to share with developers at WWDC and around the world, and can't wait to see the next generation of apps they create."

Apple wants to appeal to the next generation, but it isn't prepared to cave into the youngsters completely. The Cupertino idiot-tax corporation has amended its terms and conditions to which WWDC attendees must adhere to ban selfie sticks and similar devices for the pathetically narcissistic.

"You are not permitted to make audio or audiovisual recordings of WWDC or take professional photographic or video equipment, or wearable recording devices into Moscone West or Yerba Buena Gardens. In addition, you may not use selfie sticks or similar monopods within Moscone West or Yerba Buena Gardens," the show's guidelines now read.

Apple has joined a growing number of events and locations that have banned the selfie stick, and no reason is given for Cupertino's crackdown. Not that any were needed – anyone who has been whacked on the back of the head by one of the things understands, and if it were up to this hack, miscreants using one in a crowded space should have it inserted into them via a passage of their choosing as a lesson in manners.

Those who register an interest for the show will be told next Monday if they have been successful. Apple is opening up 350 WWDC 2015 scholarships for students in science and technology, who will get a free ticket to the show.

Scholarship applicants must be 13 or over, and must earn their place by creating a software application describing themselves and explaining why they should go using Objective-C and/or Swift. Applications must be no more than 100MB zipped and coders have until April 26 to submit their efforts.

For everyone else: that'll be $1,599, please. ®

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