Sometimes there's only one rational explanation for not finding your shoe: obviously, Zionists working within a global conspiracy must have taken it.
At least this was the explanation put forward by Asghar Bukhari, founder of lobby group the Muslim Public Affairs Committee, on a Facebook rant (now seemingly not there any more) entitled 'Are zionists trying to intimidate me?'
"Someone came into my home yesterday, while I was asleep. I don't know how they got in, but they didn't break in – the only thing they took was one shoe," he wrote.
"Now think about that, the only thing they took was a single shoe — they left one shoe behind to let me know someone had been there."
"Of course I cant prove anything and that's part of the intimidation. The game is simple – to make me feel vulnerable in my own home. It's Psychological. Neither can I do much about it."
Bukhari swiftly prompted the hashtag #Mossadstolemyshoe, in reference to the Israeli intelligence agency.
A quick scan through his Facebook page thankfully reveals this appears to be the first time such an incident has happened to him. At least, that he knows about.
Hopefully, fingers crossed, he will not have to face further intimidation, such as Mossad breaking into his home to steal the bog roll, hide the cap of his toothpaste or finish his Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.
El Reg was unable to contact Mossad for a comment. ®