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Noshing moth menaces misled into male-on-male mating

Unveiling the ultimate lepidoptera prison shower soap plan

Crafty museum curators in London, outraged by lepidopterans gobbling their well-stuffed exhibits, have fought back with a sinister plan that has seen the noshing attackers tricked into orgies of male-on-male sex and hence unable to reproduce.

We learn of the scheme from the Telegraph, reporting on a mysterious London institution called the "National History Museum" which on closer inspection is clearly the Natural History Museum.

It seems that the Museum staff - their hands tied by recent pesticide regulations designed to safeguard bees - are struggling to cope with a bit of a moth problem. The Museum being full of such tasty moth treats as stuffed animals, this is of course a serious matter.

But the institution's staff have come up with a master plan in which cunning traps are placed around the exhibits, well filled with female moth sex pheromones. Male moths, naturally enough, plunge into these and become coated in female sex chemicals.

This in turn leads other male moths to set upon the hapless victims in a prison-shower-style male sex orgy. Actual female moths, it seems, are largely ignored and the lepidopterans thus fail to reproduce effectively - and the curators' cherished stuffings are left undisturbed.

Both the Telegraph and certain specialist publications have chosen to describe this plan as "turning moths 'gay'" (though the 'graph changed its headline as this story was written, the hyperlink tells the story). However it would seem that this is actually more a matter of a sinister hallucinogenic campaign causing an outbreak of non-consensual male on male moth intercourse - apart, no doubt, from a presumable minority of male moths who were actually gay and would have exhibited such behaviour anyway. ®

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