A well-meaning, if definitely doomed, attempt to crowdfund a bailout for soon-to-default Greece has been launched on Indiegogo by a Yorkshireman who works in a London shoe shop.
Pitched as a bailout fund for Greece, replete with Gettysburg Addres-style "by the people, for the people" rhetoric, Thom Feeney aims to raise €1,600,000,000 for Greece within the next seven days.
All this dithering over Greece is getting boring. European ministers flexing their muscles and posturing over whether they can help the Greek people or not. Why don't we the people just sort it instead?
Feeney's figure is somewhat short on time, too. Greece no longer has seven days to meet its debt obligations, as per the Indiegogo's crowdfunding deadline. It actually has less than 12 hours, as its payment is due at midnight tonight.
Additionally, the €1.6bn payment would be only the first of many involved in paying back the €240bn it has received in loans from the IMF, European Central Bank and European Commission during its ongoing financial crisis.
Greece's finance minister, Yanis Varoufakis, announced as we were going to press that the country will not repay the IMF today.
Feeney suggests that, as the EU is home to 503 million people: "If we all just chip in a few Euros then we can get Greece sorted and hopefully get them back on track soon. Easy."
It would require just under €500 from every man, woman and child in the EU to repay Greece's debts. That would undoubtedly come at an enormous cost to the economy – as it would mean €240bn in disposable income no longer being available for Europe's population to spend.
Regarding the bailout deadline, Feeney told The Register: "If the politicians of Europe really care about the plight of the Greek people, they will wait a few days.
This is Sparta(n)
Proffering a selection of items, from postcards of Alexis Tsipras (€3), a feta and olive salad ostensibly "made in Greece" and "delivered fresh to your door" (€6), a small bottle of ouzo (€10) or a bottle of Greek wine (€25) – all of which would potentially contribute to the Greek economy – Feeney also offered a Greek island for sale to "anyone who came in with €1.6bn", as he expected "Mr Tsipras would happily accept that."
However, Indiegogo told him that as the Greek government had not agreed to sell the island, he wasn't allowed to offer it.
A Greek lady emailed to say that she found that perk offensive, which I apologised profusely for, I certainly didn't mean offence.
I was only thinking something about the size of Inchmarnock off the coast of Scotland, which I'd definitely sell if it saved the British economy.
At the time of writing, the Indiegogo campaign had raised €57,384 from 3,131 pledges. As the website itself notes, "0 per cent funded". ®