Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Southern biscuits and gravy

One unholy mess, but a wobbly dining stodge feast

Onwards to the gravy, which uses Robbin's own recipe. Of course, there are hundreds of variations out there, so adjust to suit your own preference. His shopping list comprises:

• 500g sausagemeat in small chunks (not shown)
• 250ml cream
• 250ml milk
• 50g plain white flour
• 1 large chopped onion
• 1 clove crushed garlic
• Salt to taste
• 30-50g grated parmesan or similar

You'll also need some oil for frying, plus pepper and ground nutmeg to taste. Throw those two and the salt in at the seasoning point indicated in the step-by-step guide below.

We made our own sausagemeat, having honed that particular skill while crafting Scotch eggs last year. Off-the-shelf supermarket stuff will do just as well. You just need to break it into small chunks before getting stuck in:

Simple as that. The "roux" part of the operation is to soak up the frying oil and create a blend with the flour before chucking in the cream. We assume that's to ensure the smoothest gravy possible. If you find your mix is getting a bit thick, add a tad more milk.

And now, <fanfare of bugles>, here are Katarina and Cordelia with the finished unholy mess:

Cordelia's expression is a result of Katarina's insistence that "I'm not going to eat that, it looks like cat vomit", which was then transferred to the other kids via the process of "juvenile repulsion transmission syndrome", in which – as every parent knows – once one nipper has expressed distaste for a dish, every other sprog in the vicinity will automatically follow suit.

True enough, it's not the world's most photogenic grub...

... but let me tell you it really hits the spot. Assuming you've already made your biscuits – or bought a packet from the 24-hour nosh emporium as you stagger back from the boozer – the whole thing only takes a few minutes.

Biscuits and gravy is rich, substantial stodge, and if you make it in the quantities suggested above, you'll have enough to feed about eight legless gourmets. It also scrubs up well if served for breakfast with bacon and eggs, which will no doubt please our vociferous sliced pork fans. Highly recommended. ®

Noshnote

We're relieved to report than the latest addition to Elinor's brood, Sebastian, very wisely ignored outward appearances and embraced biscuits and gravy with gusto. Or rather, he would have done if mum hadn't rightly decided that it's probably something his stomach will appreciate more when he has a few more years on the clock:

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