We survived a five-hour butt-numbing Congress hearing on FBI-Apple ... so you don't have to

Strap in, we're going to loopy land!

Comey is confident and competent

Ok, so James Comey said a whole bunch of stuff that was, how do we put this, not closely aligned with the truth. But faced with the meandering and inconsequential brain babbling of our elected officials, it was a relief to see that the director of the FBI is sharp, confident and competent.

On numerous occasions, Comey owned congressmen who had asked questions with fundamental errors in them, such as quoting the wrong amendments to the Constitution or misunderstanding the powers that congress possesses – something you would imagine a congressmen would be on top of.

Comey also came across as sincere when he said that if anyone watching had any good ideas about how to break into the phone or to help resolve the broader issue about encryption and privacy, he was all ears.

"If you've got an idea, let us know," he said, as several technical experts on Twitter immediately revealed that they had good ideas and had let the FBI know, and they weren't the slightest bit interested.

Comey did, however, have some great lines, such as:

Apple is not acting irresponsibly, they're acting in their self-interest. They sell phones, they don't sell civil liberties.

When prodded in an effort to get him to attack Apple:

There are no demons in this debate.

When asked why he felt the 1789 All Writs Act was a suitable mechanism to force Apple to bypass its security protections:

Old doesn't mean bad. The Constitution is older and I find that is still a pretty useful document.

And on why he decided to seek the court order at the heart of the argument at all:

If I didn't do that, I ought to be fired.

And finally

A special shout out to the representatives who were either too old or too confused to be able to make any sense at all.

The Honorable John Conyers, aged 86, read his questions from a piece of paper in a manner that suggested he didn't have the slightest idea what word was coming next. His performance filled the chatroom on the streaming video with debate about the likelihood of him surviving until the end of the session.

And Hank Johnson, who sounded as though he was being live-dubbed by the folks behind Bad Lip Reading.

All in all, it was an unedifying spectacle of people with some power desperately trying to trip up people with a little more power by asking them mangled questions gleaned from press reports and then not waiting to hear their responses. In other words, business as usual at the US Congress. ®