Tracy Emin dons funeral shroud, marries stone

Larry Ellison never got beyond auditioning boulders

Ground-breaking British Artist Emin Tracy has announced she has married a large stone in the South of France.

The ceremony is detailed in The Art Newspaper, which reports that “Last summer, under an olive tree in her garden in France and wearing her father’s white funeral shroud, Tracey Emin married a large ancient stone.”

As one of the most acclaimed artists of her generation, naturally Emin “made a series of drawings.. of the union” which form a large chunk of the artist’s first solo exhibition in China, titled “I Cried Because I Love You”.

The paper asked Emin what forming "a union" with the stone meant to her.

Emin replied, “It just means that at the moment I am not alone; somewhere on a hill facing the sea, there is a very beautiful ancient stone, and it’s not going anywhere. It will be there, waiting for me.”

She added, in an interview with Post Magazine, "It's very nice and very impressive and I like it a lot. The other thing with the stone is it's not going anywhere. Even if there's the biggest fucking tsunami in the whole fucking world, the stone will probably still stay there.

Strange as it may seem, Emin is not the first great mind to form an emotional attachment to a stone, or stones.

Carl Jung’s philosophy and psycho-analytic vision was, arguably, shaped by a stone he used to sit on as a child as an escape from his overbearing mother.

Larry Ellison’s former wife told The San Francisco Chronicle that the Oracle boss apparently auditioned a number of boulders when he renovated his bathroom.

Sticking with the Bay Area, former San Francisco Chronicle editor Phil Bronstein married Sharon Stone, while renowned funkster Sly had an entire Family Stone.

As for us at El Reg, we've never contemplated forming a union with a stone, or even auditioning one. However, we do have some marbles, and we intend to maintain a strong attachment to them for as long as possible. ®