HR botches redundancy so chap scores year-long paid holiday

And then they gave him a new job on pay he set himself

93 Reg comments Got Tips?

On-Call What's that it says on the calendar? It's Friday! Yoinks! That means it must be time for On-Call, our end-of-week stroll through readers' memories of odd office occurrences.

This week, meet “Anj”, a reader whose Christmas was once ruined when, on December 1st, he and his colleagues were told their department at a broadcasting equipment company was being moved from the UK to the USA. Staff were told to come in on January 1st for their executions.

Anj had other commitments, so asked if he could come back on the 3rd instead of the 1st. Nobody objected. And when he returned on the 3rd nobody noticed.

By about 10:00 Anj “was getting a bit twitchy feeling I should be off job hunting so I wandered round to be told that HR were in a meeting and I should come back later.”

At midday Anj started feeling decidedly odd as the only person in the “empty and eerily quiet office,” so he sought out the head of HR and had the following conversation.

Anj: I've come for my redundancy.

HR: <Stares wildly> Errrrr

Anj: Redundancy. Everyone else seems to have left.

HR: Oh you aren't redundant.

Anj: What?

HR: <Rolls eyes>

Anj: So what should I be doing.

HR: No idea, can you find something?

Anj: Who do I report to?

HR: We'll get back to you.

Needless to say, Anj never did hear back from HR. And was never bothered by anyone as he spent the next year doing nothing in an empty office full of kit he was allowed to play with.

“When I got too bored, I would drift into IT and help them out as the department consisted of two old ex-accountants and an original PFY [Pimply-faced-youth].

HR eventually decided something had to be done, and instigated the following conversation:

HR: You know Fred in IT is retiring soon?

Anj: Yes.

HR: Would you like to work in IT?

Anj: OK

HR: <Smiling in relief> Oh good I've bought you a job spec sheet. Just fill it in and we will sort it all out.

Anj: It's blank. Is there a job description?

HR: Can you fill it in?

Anj: What do you want me to do?

HR: <Fixing Anj with a pointed stare> What do you want to do?

Anj: What's the job title?

HR: Whatever you want it to be, make one up.

So Anj did as instructed and cooked up suitable title and job spec.

"I presented it to HR who evaluated it using the company point scoring system and I ended up working in IT on a very healthy salary.”

Anj says that was because “while helping out IT during the previous year I had come across a misfiled document on the system detailing all the criteria and key words for the salary points scoring system.”

Anj never found out why his redundancy was declared redundant, but didn't complain either!

If you've dodged a bullet, enjoyed extended time doing nothing or experience other office oddities, write to me with your story and we might just pop it into a future edition of On-Call! ®

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2020