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Patriotic Brits rush into streets to celebrate… National Cream Tea Day

Country spreads itself with jam - but no whipped cream

A storm-tossed Britain woke up this morning to the heart-warming news that…it’s National Cream tea day.

You've probably noticed that the country has recently been subjected to a series of rancorous debates on fundamental issues such as whether it's pronounced “scone” or “scone”.

Well the debate is over, and the answers are in. The Cream Tea Society confirms it is indeed pronounced "scone".

As a result, Happy Little Englanders can put their cares behind them and tuck into what The Cream Tea Society describes as “another day full of all things scones, jam and cream (clotted, of course)” promising “this time it will be bigger and better!”

Just in case the UK populace was feeling slightly confused, the society – which works across the divide, being backed by both a manufacturer of preserves and a clotted cream supplier - delivered the final word on those issues that have split the population.

It has declared, for example that “Loose leaf is best” and that it’s “tea before milk”.

Crucially, it warned that Britons should ensure there are “no outstretched pinkies” or “spoons on saucers”.

Point number seven seems particularly prescient: “simply break apart”.

Yes, it’s true. Apparently the perfect scone will split with nothing more than a simple twist.

On this most auspicious of days, we will leave the final word to the Cream Tea Society: “Never use whipped cream. It’s utterly improper.” ®

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