The tiny Swedish town of Insjön has been left shaken, traumatised and probably put off its breakfast after two porcine-feature exhibitionists launched a laser-enhanced sex spree on Friday.
The porky pair were first encountered by a brace of Pokemon hunters, who were tracking Squirtles and Bulbasaurs in a local park on Friday evening.
The kids were shocked to encounter a couple wearing what appeared to be pig head masks, and t-shirts with the slogans “queen” and “king” respectively.
The hoggish hoodlums started howling and gesticulating at the taken aback Poke-hunters, before one of them whipped out a green laser and shone it in the teens’ faces, prompting the alarmed youths to beat a hasty retreat home.
The mother of one of the traumatised teens reported the incident to police the next day. “It feels very uncomfortable and I think the kids too,” the mother later told the Dala-Demokraten.
However, the police were already well aware of the swinish pair, after they were spotted by motorists on the local Highway 70 having sizzling sex against the town’s historic waterwheel. In fact, the sight was so compelling that numerous drivers stopped completely to gawp at the boarish bonkers.
“I was on my way home from the gym and nearly drove right into the cars in front of me,” one told local reporters.
Local police have leapt into action to hunt the shameless squealers, though they appear less concerned about the impact on traffic and more about the dangerous use of lasers.
“Pointing a green laser against people can cause serious damage if it hits your eyes,”said a police spokesman.
He did add: “If the couple has had sex in the water wheel, it can fall under the heading of sexual offence – if people become annoyed by it.” ®