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Naked, drunken Swede assaults chicken shed after 60th birthday

Gets plastered, ends up in chicken shed instead of chicken shop

A Malmo man is facing paying thousands of kronor in damages after attending a friend’s 60th birthday party and ending up crawling naked and bleeding from an elderly woman’s hen house.

The elderly poultry rearer in Ikea hometown Älmhult assumed her prize layers were under attack from a marauding fox after a series of noises from her hen house in the middle of the night, the Local reports.

However, on peering into her garden, she saw a naked, blood-soaked human form emerging from the eggery, accompanied by multiple chucks fleeing the scene. The horrified woman called police who swooped on the buck-naked chicken worrier, and carted him to the nearest thing they had to a drunk tank in village of just 50 souls.

If they were hoping sobriety might explain exactly how he found himself in poultry-scaring predicament, they were mistaken. All he could tell them was that he’d gone to a friend’s 60th, and despite swearing off the booze, had somehow managed to chuck down beer, whisky, cider and wine during the course of the evening, according to the local paper.

After that little lot, most of us would head to the nearest chicken shop for something to soak up the excess. Presumably something was lost in translation and the by now unhappy Swede ended up trapped himself in the hen house.

Presumably after waiting for a party bucket that never arrived, he realised his mistake, and tried to escape, but in the process smashed four windows, and some water sinks, in the process scaring the bejayzus out of the chickens and their owner.

While the man’s fowl house freakout occurred back in March, it has only just made it to court, and he has been hit with a fine of SEK18,000 (£1,600, $2,100) and been made liable to damages. The fate of the traumatised chickens was not recorded. ®

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