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Fire brigade called to free man's bits from titanium ring's grip

Well, it was that or appendage amputation

Dublin’s fire brigade - armed with a hand-held angle grinder - were called to the aid of a man that was unable to remove a titanium ring that he’d miraculously slipped over both his meat and two veg.

In yet another example of when choking of the bishop goes wrong, the unnamed male presented his problem member to doctors at Mater University Hospital some seven hours after trapping his chap.

The 5cm x 4cm x 1.5cm ring had become lodged at the base of his genitals, a classic case of penile strangulation, the (NSFW) Irish Medical Journal reported in its March edition.

Ice packs were applied to the swollen appendages but failed to ease the tumescent state of the todger of its two spherical buddies. Bolt and bone cutters proved equally unsuccessful.

Without an obvious solution in the vicinity, medics called the fire brigade who divided the “penoscrotal constriction device with an electric hand operated axel grinder”.

“Cool irrigation was running throughout to prevent overheating or thermal damage to the skin. A metal forceps was placed under the ring to present past pointing of the axel grinder,” the Journal added.

Following the 20-minute removal process, “there was an immediate response of distal penile pulsations, sensation and capillary refill… with partial improvement of the oedema”.

The man reported no voiding or “sexual issues” in the month since the embarrassing episode.

Penile strangulation requires emergency surgery to avoid “potential organ threatening complications” and get the blood flowing again. The Journal reckoned the patient endured Grade 2 injuries.

At the high end of the scale, Grade 5 involves gangrene, necrosis or “complete amputation of the penis”.

Beware stupid men of the world: the latest case follows an incident in South Africa back in November when a gent who slotted a wedding ring on his todger and was taken to hospital by his mother.

For those of a curious nature, the dick pic [very NSFW] is here. ®

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