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Fire fighters get grinding on London man’s trapped genitalia

Ilford fire tender attends an East Ender with trapped bellend...ugh...

An East London man is breathing more easily today after fire fighters came to his rescue early this morning - they used a hydraulic pedal cutter to remove a metal ring he had slipped over his dangly bits several days before.

The unnamed chap arrived at King George Hospital in the London Borough of Redbridge where staff attempted to remove the penis ring manually - though it was manual attention that likely caused the problem in the first instance.

Unable to relieve the situation, they pulled in Ilford fire fighters who arrived around 2am, scrubbed up and then pulled out a pedal cutter that is typically used to cut people from motor crashes. (Just imagine the look on the unfortunate patient's face if they'd deployed the jaws of life.)

“To put it in laymen’s term, he tried to put his veg in the ring as well but it stopped the circulation and became stuck,” a fireman told The Standard.

“It had been like that for a couple of days. I think it must have got to the point where he knew he needed to do something about it…. it was swollen and a funny colour.”

The hapless man is the latest addition to a hall of shame that has seen numerous men get their todgers trapped in a cock ring: in 2015 to 2016, nine cases were recorded in Britain.

Brits aren’t alone here though, examples have been recorded by El Reg in Thailand and Ireland, to name but a few.

This may, in part, have stimulated King's College London to embark on a study on the effect of penis ring's on sexual satisfaction and depth of penetration during sexual intercourse. That said, surely it's about time someone studied why so many chaps seem to be able to get the things on, but struggle to have it off. So to speak. ®

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