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Bless their hearts: Democrats want $40bn to spruce up America's bumpkin broadband

How about you try winning an election first, folks

The Democratic party has asked for an amazingly naive ambitious $40bn investment in broadband internet for broke low-income Americans out in the sticks.

The completely useless minority party in US Congress on Thursday issued a waste of paper bold proposition [PDF] for the government to invest the 6,441 Abrams tanks $40bn of taxpayer funds to expand internet connectivity in underserved areas.

"Unfortunately, there are still too many communities in America that are simply being left behind," the party that screwed a gimme election lost in 2016 said.

"Over 34 million Americans, including 23 million rural Americans, do not have internet service available to them at an adequate speed and quality. While the private sector has delivered high-speed internet to many, millions of Americans in less-profitable rural and urban areas have been left out."

The morons people who should have gone with Bernie came up just short to angry snowflake President Donald Trump in the presidential election said the government should pick up the tab for internet service in areas money-grubbing commercial telcos can't make a profit serving.

The dumbass interesting plan will have to get the approval of telco stooge ardent conservative Ajit Pai, who has a history of doing the bidding acting in favor of monopoly established internet providers who have shied away from expanding to rural areas.

The wank plan would also call for the creation of a map to show where internet service sucks doesn't meet the minimum standards for broadband classification under Pai's lowered bar revised classification.

"To ensure success and that resources are well spent, we must have an accurate understanding of the high-speed internet gaps that currently exist in the country; we cannot merely rely on providers' representation of the service they deliver," the Senate Dems say.

"Complete and reliable service maps that accurately represent the real-world consumer experience are a necessity to ensuring every American gets efficiently and effectively connected to adequate, affordable high-speed internet service."

The plan would face a laughably impossible somewhat uphill battle to gain approval. ®

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