One landlocked council's battle with fly-tipping has taken a nautical twist this week after it had to deal with a speedboat... left in a road.
The boat was found in the northern English town of Doncaster, which is just north of Sheffield in England – and about 50 miles from the sea.
Doncaster Council decided to chart the course of its dealings with the illegally parked boat on a GIF-filled Twitter thread.
The boat, it pointed out, had been ditched directly under a "No fly-tipping" sign.
Despite our land-locked location, some funny person has decided to dump a boat directly under a no fly-tipping sign. pic.twitter.com/smKqgVke9I— Doncaster Council (@MyDoncaster) October 31, 2017
But the council said it's used to dealing with odd activity, having recently found a car in a pond.
First we had a car in a pond. Now we have a speedboat on a road. Just another day in Doncaster, apparently?! pic.twitter.com/A1YpEf7n9I— Doncaster Council (@MyDoncaster) October 31, 2017
And it warned that the council has a crack team of enforcement officers specialised in investigating fly-tipping, who bear a striking resemblance to 80s has-beens Duran Duran.
Our Enforcement team had a wonderful day on the boat, combing it for clues to catch the culprit. pic.twitter.com/QYx4G3JO9a— Doncaster Council (@MyDoncaster) October 31, 2017
Although it isn't clear whether the team alighted on any plunder, the council did reveal it was considering approaching Bullseye host Jim Bowen, who is known to have had access to a large quantity of speedboats.
One line of investigation is that this guy could be involved. pic.twitter.com/sI60z6pUF6— Doncaster Council (@MyDoncaster) October 31, 2017
The perp could be issued with a fixed penalty notice or a suspended sentence, the council said – or might be asked to walk the plank.
Once we catch the culprit they could get a Fixed Penalty Notice, a suspended sentence, or maybe a more…nautical punishment would be fitting pic.twitter.com/9B1pSq7Dlg— Doncaster Council (@MyDoncaster) October 31, 2017
Meanwhile, the fate of the boat isn't clear. We've asked Doncaster Council to clarify what was meant by the announcement on Twitter that it is "now in boat heaven".
We'll update this story when the council gets back to us. ®