Somerset boozer prepares to declare its inn-dependence from UK

All ale the new re-pub-lic of Cross Keys!

A Somerset pub is gearing up to secede from the UK next month.

The rum do is, surprisingly, nothing to do with Brexit. It's also unrelated to a long, hot summer that has battered UK pubs with an influx of wasps and concerns that depleting CO₂ supplies would hurt the flow of lager in the island nation.

Rather, the Cross Keys Inn in Lydford-on-Fosse is making its independence just a weekend-long affair, from 8pm on Friday 7 September, to celebrate its fifth anniversary and raise funds it hopes will be a tonic for a local hospice.

The boozer's plan, as reported in the Morning Advertiser, includes an inauguration ceremony for the president, first lady and a selection of Cabinet members.

It isn't clear whether there will be a democratic election for the leadership of the Republic of Cross Keys, or if this will be a o-lager-chy [Ouch – Ed.].

Similarly, the pub doesn't say anything about whether it intends to adhere to the UK's tax or licensing laws during its stint of independence.

However, it's expected that relations between the two nations will remain cordial, as local MP David Warburton is appearing at the end of the weekend to accept the republic's surrender back to the UK. ®