Online gift store Moonpig has implored its customers not to keep customising greetings cards with photos of their bits.
The shop, which allows people to upload pictures to personalise their presents, apparently finds receiving dick pics as tedious as many other internet users.
In the time-honoured Twitter tradition of using all lower-case and no punctuation to signpost a supposedly ironic statement, the firm said:
please stop uploading pics of your genitals to our cards it is against our ts and cs— Moonpig (@MoonpigUK) September 26, 2018
Indeed, the Ts&Cs do say that users are not allowed to upload any personalisation that "contains material which is pornographic, obscene, indecent or offensive".
Nor are you allowed to use anything that "may harass, upset, embarrass or alarm any person".
Of course, Moonpig's missive was greeted with mirth on Twitter, with some users brimming with ideas for their next personalised card, now the seed has been firmly planted in their minds.
Another user wondered whether they might have to take their custom to rival online card biz FunkyPigeon – but was sadly disappointed.
We wish readers the best of luck in keeping their "junk" mail to themselves; meanwhile, we extend our sympathies to the staffers at Moonpig who are on the receiving (bell)end of too many people's idea of a joke... ®