Yeah, yeah, "It's November, I don't want to hear the C word until the 24th of December" and so on – tell that to the denizens of Bury St Edmunds in Suffolk, England, who have been left feeling cold after the arguably premature erection of the town's Christmas tree.
The yule totem was stood to attention this week by community group Our Bury St Edmunds ahead of the town's predictably twee Christmas lights switch-on on 15 November, but much myrrhth has been had at the fir[m]'s expense because it's apparently much stubbier than usual.
According to the East Anglian Daily Times, one entitled whiner posted a picture of the tree to Facebook, saying: "Why can't our beautiful town have a Trafalgar Square type tree. That would look so epic."
Well, that would be because you live in Bury St Edmunds.
Commenters agreed that the tree did not jingle their bells. "My daughter has one similar in her dolls' house," said one. "I think the one on Angel Hill was on a recent episode of The Borrowers."
It should be noted that the tree is at the very least 12ft (3.65m) tall.
"Blimey did they order it in inches and not feet this year!" another moaned.
Wow, tough crowd. Unfazed, the chief exec of Our Bury St Edmunds attempted to fill the juvenile teasers with the spirit of things. "We are very pleased with the two trees that the Rougham Estate have donated to our town and greatly appreciate their generosity.
"It's my experience in life that quality is far more important that quantity."
A resident concurred: "Size isn't everything. It's the way it's decorated. Last year the tree was larger but it looked like the lights had just been thrown at it."
There you have it. If readers are suffering similar feelings of inadequacy due to the cruel jibes of their partners, whack some tinsel on it, maybe some lights. A decent star can add a good six inches. ®