Tim Apple. Larry Oracle. Ginni Layoffs: It works so why the heck not?

At last: a Trump innovation we can all get behind


Comment US prez Donald J Trump may not leave a wholesome legacy behind him, but one of POTUS's more useful innovations was showcased yesterday: the revival of the occupational surname.

"We appreciate it very much, Tim Apple," Trump told Apple CEO Tim Cook as he sat alongside the Silicon Valley boss.

Youtube Video

The Donald was talking up his previous efforts to get American businesses to manufacture more products at home, to invest in the country. He then patted Cook Apple on the back, metaphorically speaking.

In the past President Trump has referred to Lockheed Martin's CEO, Marillyn Hewson, as "Marillyn Lockheed".

While this predictably brought scorn from the media, it's something we can all welcome wholeheartedly. He's busy, you're busy – but Trump's truncation conveys all the important information you need. Who does Tim thingy work for again? You don't need to know much more.

It's also consistent with cultures where surnames are derived from occupations, which is a very long list indeed in English.

Life would be so much easier if all CEOs were eponymous CEOs, such as Charles Wang of Wang, Michael Dell of Dell, or Dave Hewlett and Bill Packard of HP. But while meltdown-era TalkTalk came very close with Dido (queen of carnage), sadly, they are not.

So we urge the technology industry to pick up the gauntlet and formally rename the key executive officers appropriately: Larry Oracle, Satya Microsoft, Tencent Pony Ma and Ginni Layoffs? ®

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