A road in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, briefly became unsuitable for vegetarians yesterday when a truck carrying pig intestines spilled its load.
The Interstate 670 was turned into a porcine lot as three of four lanes were closed after the goregasm at 9am local time, The Kansas City Star reports.
People stuck in the traffic would have been boared out of their minds were it not for the "pungent" odour that could be smelled from "three blocks away", according to witnesses.
"90-degree heat and humidity" was also said to play a factor.
"It's tough to get a little bit of a deep breath," said one chap on the scene. "You don't really want to breathe in that deep because... that's what you get."
An emergency response vehicle was dispatched with sty-le, rocking a snow plough to slosh the piles of viscera to the side of the road.
Though it looks like a scene from an ultra-violent video game, no live animals were injured in the ham-fisted snafu.
The Missouri Department of Transportation kept the good people of Kansas City in the loop on Twitter, quipping: "Crews estimate it could be NOON before all lanes are back open. Please find an alternate snout. Sorry, alternate route."
We suppose that works better in American English.
The effort was later upgraded to an excavator of sorts before the hoses could be turned on and the remaining slop rinsed away.
Update: More wash down photos.... pic.twitter.com/ADcKEquwhm— MoDOT Kansas City (@MoDOT_KC) 11 July 2019
About four hours later, order was restored and traffic began moving freely again. No twist in the tale here, though we feel sow-y for the clean-up crew.
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A similar incident in 2017 also needed a good scrubbing when a cargo of hagfish – a Korean delicacy and aphrodisiac – was dropped on a road in Oregon. These slippery customers produce a milky, fibrous mucus from glands on their flanks, and the damage caused to other vehicles was a sight to behold. ®