News has reached Vulture Central of a US resident's attempt to have his beer registered as an emotional support animal in the hope of bringing the amber nectar onboard public transport.
Noted in the Brooklyn Paper, the chap submitted the paperwork in December.
To that end, he registered his beer as an emotional support dog with the USA Service Dog Registration service and was apparently given a (now removed) tracking number for his faithful friend.
While the Transit Authority is quite clear that consuming an alcoholic beverage is not the done thing aboard its buses and trains, a service animal is permitted as long as it is registered. Heck, you can bring on pretty much any creature so long as it is "enclosed in a container." Like a beer glass, perchance?
The beer fan insisted in the Brooklyn Paper that his support beer helped him to "manage his social anxiety disorder,".
“I don’t mean it in a heady mental health manner,” he added. “More if you go to a party, and want to break the ice.”
"Not that I'm an alcoholic," he told the publication.
Sadly for Brooklynites hoping to ape his antics, a bit of investigation has revealed it to be likely grounded in japery. Additionally, a Transit Authority representative said he'd likely be out of luck attempting to bring his "dog" onto the city's subways.
Nice try, though.
Naturally, The Register checked in with TFL, the London authority responsible for the soul-crushing commutes endured by your hardworking vultures, to see if something similar might be possible in Blighty.
It would have saved Shadow Home Secretary Diane Abbott an awful lot of grief if that M&S Mojito had been registered as a support spaniel or something.
TFL has yet to respond.
While we cannot condone the consumption of booze on a bus or a tipple on a train, sometimes, just sometimes, an emotional support beer might make all the difference. ®