"Yes, very good, the balls are the same. Now stop distracting me and let me finish this job."
Now imagine your little one shooing away pretend children of their own from their "work area".
You don't have to imagine thanks to plastic landfill merchant Fisher-Price, which is about to roll its "My Home Office" play set on 28 August, according to US mag People.
The eight-piece set includes a laptop with a fabric desktop so very important apps like a picture of bespectacled cat and a graph going upwards can be stuck to it; a wooden smartphone plastered with images of dogs in a conference call; a headset; and the all-important Starbucks-esque coffee cup.
Cat memes and virtual meetings with no functional audio – Fisher-Price has really hit the nail on the head in depicting the current world of work.
The set is the latest in a line of Fisher-Price toys inspired by how the world has changed since the novel COVID-19 coronavirus started spreading like wildfire. The Thank You Heroes collection celebrates various frontline workers like doctors, nurses, paramedics, delivery drivers, and supermarket staff, kind of like how Brits briefly poked their heads outside on Thursday evenings to woop and bang pots in honour of the NHS until everyone got bored and realised it was a bit silly.
Sadly, there seem to be no plans to release a Fisher-Price hacker set with standard-issue hoodie and wallpaper backdrop of unrelated system logs for the aspiring black hat in your life, nor is there a Wotsit-stained keyboard and crushed spirit in the works for little wannabe sysadmins.
You know what? Why encourage them to play at all? Just nail them to a desk from the age of three.
My Home Office will retail at $25 on Amazon. No, we won't earn a commission if you're weird enough to buy this for your kid, but maybe that's something we should look into [he's kidding – ed].
Personally, we'll stick to dinosaurs and cars and PJ Masks... when we can get them off the tablet.
And for all you work-from-home parents out there with patchy childcare, we see you. You're doing a great job. ®