Remember 2013? This coffee machine does: If I could turn back time – I'd reboot this PC

I'd take back that bork that hurt you, or drink tea....


Bork!Bork!Bork! While Marty McFly's Delorean remains the stuff of fiction, the power of Bork could allow you to experience 2013 while avoiding the disappointing cup of coffee that is 2020.

Imagine, if you can, what it was like back in 2013. The UK was flush with success, having managed to pull off the Olympics without making a dreadful hash of things. The Brexit vote was years in the future, Donald Trump and Boris Johnson had yet to trouble their respective administrations, and 2020 was something you used to describe eyesight.

steaming cup of bork

Click to enlarge

If only we could go back to those days.

Behold 2013, (6 June, to be precise) via the medium of the build date of the American Megatrends BIOS in a hopelessly borked vending machine.

We'd like to say that the date was set in coffee-based tribute to author Tom Sharpe, who died (aged 85) on that day, but we fear that American Megatrends had other things on its corporate mind when it spat out this particular variant of its firmware.

Not that a caffeine-crazed coffee chaser is likely to care about such things while attempting a futile prod of the screen and being rewarded with UEFI champions league levels of bork (we're here all week).

If a craving for caffeine has driven you to paw hopelessly at a Costa Coffee orifice, then a discussion on the relative merits of Wilt versus Porterhouse Blue is unlikely to be super high on your priority list.

Our reader snapped this distressed device back in July, so the idea of poking at the screen is even ickier than it might have been in previous years (although we're sure attentive staff keep it spick and span). However, a sideways BIOS bork indicates that no amount of prodding is likely to coax the poor thing back to life.

Sadly for thirsty and sleepy travellers, there will be no Regular, Large or Espresso / Shot dispensed. Just a steaming mug of bork and a reminder of simpler times. ®


Keep Reading

Tech Resources

How backup modernization changes the ransomware game

If the thrill of backing up your data and wondering if you will ever see it again has worn off, start the new year by getting rid of the lingering pain of legacy backup. Bipul Sinha, CEO of the Cloud Data Management Company, Rubrik, and Miguel Zatarain, Director of Global Infrastructure Technology at PACCAR, Fortune 500 manufacturer of trucks and Rubrik customer, are talking to the Reg’s Tim Phillips about how to eliminate the costly, slow and spotty performance of legacy backup, and how to modernize your implementation in 2021 to make your business more resilient.

The State of Application Security 2020

Forrester analyzed the state of application security in 2020 and found over 75% of external attacks are attributed to web application and software exploits.

Webcast Slide Deck | Three reasons you need a hybrid multicloud

Businesses need their IT teams to operate applications and data in a hybrid environment spanning on-premises private and public clouds. But this poses many challenges, such as managing complex networking, re-architecting applications for the cloud, and managing multiple infrastructure silos. There is a pressing need for a single platform that addresses these challenges - a hybrid multicloud built for the digital innovation era. Just this Regcast to find out: Why hybrid multicloud is the ideal path to accelerate cloud migration.

Top 20 Private Cloud Questions Answered

Download this asset for straight answers to your top private cloud questions.

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2021