Gummy bears as a unit of measure? The Reg Standards Soviet will not stand for this sort of silliness

Less than a fifth of a linguine, for goodness' sake – come on now

Reg Standards Bureau A new potential contribution to the world's sole source of approved units of measure has emerged – the Haribo gummy bear.

The Register's Standards Bureau has been forwarded a curious YouTube video in which the use of gelatinous ursine miniatures as a metric is featured and frankly we're not sure what to make of this.

YouTube product reviewer DC Rainmaker used two of the bears to measure the height of a portable GoPro-style camera during a video review of the product.

"You can see the size that matters here is gummy bears, so the Haribo gummy bear is the international standard of gummy bears," said DC Rainmaker, who proceeded to eat one of his measuring devices while comparing them to the device.

Reg reader James forwarded us this eye-catching moment in video review history, which, nonetheless, is not compliant with the Reg Standards Converter's unit of length, the linguine (lg). It appears that one gummy bear is around 0.16lg, with the camera being precisely 0.45 standardised (unboiled) units tall.

We note the attempt at a new, readily edible unit of distance and have given it stern consideration. Unfortunately, the sheer deliciousness of gummy bears, Haribo or otherwise, renders them unsuitable for such a role – as Mr Rainmaker so ably demonstrated.

Units of distance are a favourite for non-compliant organisations around the world, with a particularly bad outbreak occurring at the start of last year when local councils began using such nonsensical things as alligators and kangaroos as units of distance instead of linguine, brontosauruses, and double-decker buses. Or even the Osman, inducted into the Reg Standards Converter last year and named after the tallest human being ever filmed by a BBC camera.

In 2017 China launched a 13-brontosaurus aircraft carrier, a move which compares most favourably to Britain's 2,000lg Queen Elizabeth class warships. ®

Other stories you might like

  • North Korea pulled in $400m in cryptocurrency heists last year – report

    Plus: FIFA 22 players lose their identity and Texas gets phony QR codes

    In brief Thieves operating for the North Korean government made off with almost $400m in digicash last year in a concerted attack to steal and launder as much currency as they could.

    A report from blockchain biz Chainalysis found that attackers were going after investment houses and currency exchanges in a bid to purloin funds and send them back to the Glorious Leader's coffers. They then use mixing software to make masses of micropayments to new wallets, before consolidating them all again into a new account and moving the funds.

    Bitcoin used to be a top target but Ether is now the most stolen currency, say the researchers, accounting for 58 per cent of the funds filched. Bitcoin accounted for just 20 per cent, a fall of more than 50 per cent since 2019 - although part of the reason might be that they are now so valuable people are taking more care with them.

    Continue reading
  • Tesla Full Self-Driving videos prompt California's DMV to rethink policy on accidents

    Plus: AI systems can identify different chess players by their moves and more

    In brief California’s Department of Motor Vehicles said it’s “revisiting” its opinion of whether Tesla’s so-called Full Self-Driving feature needs more oversight after a series of videos demonstrate how the technology can be dangerous.

    “Recent software updates, videos showing dangerous use of that technology, open investigations by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, and the opinions of other experts in this space,” have made the DMV think twice about Tesla, according to a letter sent to California’s Senator Lena Gonzalez (D-Long Beach), chair of the Senate’s transportation committee, and first reported by the LA Times.

    Tesla isn’t required to report the number of crashes to California’s DMV unlike other self-driving car companies like Waymo or Cruise because it operates at lower levels of autonomy and requires human supervision. But that may change after videos like drivers having to take over to avoid accidentally swerving into pedestrians crossing the road or failing to detect a truck in the middle of the road continue circulating.

    Continue reading
  • Alien life on Super-Earth can survive longer than us due to long-lasting protection from cosmic rays

    Laser experiments show their magnetic fields shielding their surfaces from radiation last longer

    Life on Super-Earths may have more time to develop and evolve, thanks to their long-lasting magnetic fields protecting them against harmful cosmic rays, according to new research published in Science.

    Space is a hazardous environment. Streams of charged particles traveling at very close to the speed of light, ejected from stars and distant galaxies, bombard planets. The intense radiation can strip atmospheres and cause oceans on planetary surfaces to dry up over time, leaving them arid and incapable of supporting habitable life. Cosmic rays, however, are deflected away from Earth, however, since it’s shielded by its magnetic field.

    Now, a team of researchers led by the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory (LLNL) believe that Super-Earths - planets that are more massive than Earth but less than Neptune - may have magnetic fields too. Their defensive bubbles, in fact, are estimated to stay intact for longer than the one around Earth, meaning life on their surfaces will have more time to develop and survive.

    Continue reading

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2022