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Stop. Look... Install Linux? The Reg solves Microsoft's latest Windows teaser

Going backwards to the future

Fans eagerly awaiting the emission of Windows 11 have been treated to a teaser of today's big event, ending with Microsoft giving us all... the finger?

"Feel what's next for Windows," exhorts Microsoft. Based on Vista and Windows 8, we'd have to say we're getting a sense of impending doom. Or perhaps we should be feeling fluffy… like a cloud. Which, after all, is the direction of travel for Microsoft.

In the past, some at The Reg may have been feeling anticipation for a new version of Windows. Windows 8 put paid to that as the horror of the user interface unfolded. Windows 10 sought to undo the damage while saving a bit of face.

This time around – who knows? Hopefully the freshest OS will include a bit more than the yawn-inducing leaks seen so far. Some have speculated that the emphasis on the eye indicates some form of virtual or augmented reality, while others point to the ear as meaning the arrival of some new Surface audio devices. As for the touching and feeling, well, we shan't be going there.

The solution is simple. Reverse the teaser and you have Stop. Look. Listen.

It is clearly Microsoft's version of the Green Cross Code, except for walking across roads backwards. Arguably less dangerous than entrusting your critical enterprise processes to the public cloud.

Youtube Video

Windows for Walking? Stop. Look. Install Linux? A Clippy for crossing?

While we can't imagine Microsoft boss Satya Nadella donning the garb of the great David Prowse's iconic 1970s road safety campaigner any time soon, it is perhaps worth considering Prowse's other great role, that of Star Wars all-round bad egg, Darth Vader.

Has Microsoft allowed the veneer of years being a pal to open source to crack? Probably not – after all, those subjected to the company's bumbling attempts to make Dark Mode work on Windows 10 over the years are unlikely to be lured to the Dark Side any time soon. ®

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