12BoC IKEA, furniture retailer and place where relationships go to die, features large in our final run of borks. It also appears unable to configure Windows, as demonstrated in this edition of The Register's 12 Borks of Christmas.
Snapped by one-time Vulture Matt Hughes, who we know is more likely to be found rescuing some elderly bit of obsolete Apple kit rather than traipsing around the aisles of the flatpack flinger, this bit of Windows-powered digital signage seeks that which Windows needs the most.
No, not a wipe and a reinstall with something more suited to the purpose. A patch, of course.
In this case, Windows (we suspect it might be Windows 8 or 10, but await the inevitable "Well, actually…") is struggling to download updates and is being its usual helpful self. It could display what actually stopped those updates downloading. Was it a lack of disk space? Memory? Or maybe IKEA has wisely cut off access to the outside world?
But no, with all the usefulness of a chocolate teapot, Windows has simply told us what it can't do rather than why it can't do it. You need to click the More Info button for that, but a pointing device there is none.
Fortunately, it is not fully obscuring the tasty treat being advertised, nor the price. However somebody has taken it upon themselves to stick black tape over the opening hours, meaning the only clue to the restaurant's status is the alluring aroma of meatballs and whatever those hot dogs are made out of.
- Beware the ghost of operating systems past: In which our hero is visited by an old friend
- It's just a pair of arrows. What could be more innocent than that?
- Confessions at a Christmas do: 'That time I took down an entire neighbourhood'
- Sun, sea and sad signage: And lo, they saw a shining light in the sky... oh, it's a BIOS error
As for Windows, customers remain in the dark regarding the source of the bork. Luckily this is IKEA, and you're never far away from a colossal sack of tea-light candles, able to illuminate every corner or fester in a kitchen drawer only to mysteriously vanish when needed the most.
At least a candle doesn't need a software patch every few weeks. ®
A little ditty we are calling: The 12 Borks of Christmas '21
♬ On the sixth day of Borkmas, the bork gods sent to me:
IKEA not updating;