Elon Musk 'buying Manchester United' football club
Results are rubbish on Earth, but Mars United could be undisputed champions
Rocketry, energy, automotive, AI, tequila, tunneling and (maybe) social media entrepreneur Elon Musk has proclaimed his intention to buy Manchester United — the organization often cited as the world's most supported football club.
Musk revealed his "intentions" in a tweet, of course.
Also, I’m buying Manchester United ur welcome— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 17, 2022
Whether Musk is serious or not is impossible to divine – he has a long history of Twitter japes. And of course he also has recent form announcing, then backing away from, a planned purchase of Twitter itself.
Musk's only previous known involvement in football was building an unasked-for submarine to help rescue a children's team from a cave in Thailand in 2018. And when the offer was declined he slurred one of the actual rescuers.
But that lack of a round ball background won't stop some fans from hoping Musk's tweet expressed a genuine desire to acquire the team, which has performed modestly for years as its owners kept spending on new players low. Rival teams, meanwhile, used their owners' oil riches to hire the planet's top talent and win trophy after trophy as Man U's trophy case gathered naught but dust.
The club's fortunes hit a new low in recent weeks with a 0–4 loss to Brentford – a team that brings a teensy bit more relevance into this tale. Its home ground anchors one end of the UK's "M4 Corridor" – which houses a great many technology companies.
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Brentford is, however, a footballing minnow.
Losing to Brentford – plus other recent losses and reported disharmony in the playing squad – has enraged fans to the point where some would surely welcome Elon Musk as owner, even if his only contribution is providing a one-way trip into space for some coaching staff and players.
Or perhaps Musk fancies sending Man U to Mars, where the club would be undisputed champions of an entire planet.
Another scenario could see Man U turn out a team of humanoid Tesla robots – which are presumably more easily rebooted than the club's misfiring players, and could compete in the Robot World Cup.
Just Read The Instructions pic.twitter.com/BWYzSEE0Q8— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 14, 2022
If all else fails, fans could just drown their sorrows in Tesla tequila.®