BOFH: It's Friday, it's time to RTFM

What's that, Simon? Rich Text Format?

BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsEpisode 17 "Just wanting to know if you've got the answers to the RFIs on our RFP – as we need them ASAP," the Boss says, practicing his acronyms.

"The RFIs for the RFP?" the PFY says. "You never said you needed them PDQ. I emailed the vendor for clarification but they were either AFK or AWOL so I didn't get a response."

"Did you give us an ETA on responses to the RFIs on the RFP?" I add. "Because I noticed at least one of the questions was addressed in the FAQs in the RFP appendix."

"And just as an FYI," the PFY continues, "we noted that someone had amended the closing date from EOBD + EOM to 4pm Friday."

"Probably HR," I say. "Because they're trying to keep a lid on people working overtime on RFPs because some of them are just crammed with TMI.  Though for good PR we could have done some R&D to better clarify our RFP in the first place."

"But surely our vendor's CRM would have noted the EOD+EOM from the draft contracts from our CMS and had their own ETA to allow us to issue an RFQ in a timely manner if they were successful?" the PFY asks.

"That'd only happen if our Legal were happy with someone issuing an RFQ and the last I heard he was MIA with COVID."

"Does he have an ETA for when he's back?"

"From what I understand that's TBC – but I suspect he's actually about OCD about EOBD+EOM, and he's not really 'up there' in terms of IQ."

"But he's known about the RDD for weeks."

"The Ron Donald Don't?"

"The Requested Due Date," the PFY says, clarifying that somewhat. "So I don't see why he's getting OCD about it.

"It's a bit OTT, but if you'd seen his CV you'd know it was a matter of time. I guess we could DIY the RFI responses which would bring the overall ETA forward but we'd have to do it all by COB today."

"Would we get it back to them in time? Remember, their ISP thought they had issues with the CPU or RAM on their core router which has affected their connectivity, not to mention YTD uptime stats.  Apparently our RFP vendor's CIO talked to their ISP's CEO - AKA their COO – and it turned out to be a NAS that was DOA so they were getting an RMA to send it back last week."

"So RE the RFI, we're good to respond to the HOD of Pre-Sales – and maybe ask for some KPIs?"

"A-OK on that," the PFY says, "but it might be a little OTT to be asking for KPIs at this stage as they'll want to check the ROI on their proposal against their forecasted P&L - which would be...  ... with or without VAT."

"With VAT, obviously – no one wants any trouble with HMRC."

"Did you send them the URL of our CMS?"

"Of course – with the right document ID."

"HTTP or FTP?"

"HTTPS. I IM-ed the HOD of Pre-Sales just before COB."

"And you remembered to tell him their H&S policy would need to be included in the RFP response?"

"Yes, but they already mentioned it in their RFIs. Apparently their COO has recently completed an MBA with a focus on H&S."

"OMG!"

"OMG indeed. Not only that, they wanted us to sign an NDA because of their concerns about theft of IP."

"IP. WTF?! LOL."

"I know, talk about OCD – there's more IP in AppleTalk."

The Boss has glazed over and looks to be in power save mode.

"I just wanted to know if you'd got the answers?" he pleads.

"We got some of them," I say, game apparently over.

"OK, but will they be ready by COB today?"

"Everything but the stuff about RFID, which is TBC," the PFY says, getting back on the acronym pony once more. "The CAD drawings of the mounting hardware's going to be sent of to the CNC company so that the SFF PC will fit under the desk and leave room for the LTE modem to enable our VPN for the B2B stuff."

"We're using a VPN?" the Boss asks, recognising a letter sequence.

"Yeah – but not super heavy duty – we're not talking to the UN or anyone in the EU, although we might have an NGO or two."

"So that's a yes then?" the Boss begs, with acronym vertigo.

"Yes. We might want it for some VR stuff, if it all fits under the desk we got from IKEA circa 2017 AD."

"Was that the one for the Director's PA's PC, with the DVD – and now a VPN?" I ask. "I thought she said it was broken."

"It was, but I sprayed it with some WD50, then emailed her – BCC'ing the Director with a PS about how it looked like it had been intentionally damaged – but you'd have to get CSI in to prove that."

The Boss runs from the room holding his ears.

"TGIF," the PFY says.

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