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Behold Big Tech's mightiest new innovations: Minecraft Crocs, recycled cubicles

Thank you, Microsoft and Meta, for firing thousands and then sharing your very finest inventions

Sometimes The Register cannot help but stand, slack-jawed, in amazement at Big Tech's latest gifts to the world.

And so it was today, as we discovered a Wall Street Journal report describing "The Cube," a new type of office cubicle invented at Meta.

The Cube is made of "felt-like" material sourced from recycled PET plastic. Because it's soft, The Cube absorbs sound. And because it's a little bit curved – not cube-shaped – it divides an office up into nice little private spaces that don't oppress the soul by placing workers in a grid.

Just like other cubicles have done since before Dilbert was a lad. And just like all sorts of curvy office furniture has done for decades.

The WSJ report states that The Cube's fine qualities mean that Meta offices afford workers a little privacy and reduce noise levels.

The Register wonders if Meta's decision to make 11,000 staff redundant may also have made its offices rather quieter. It also seems sensible to ponder whether spending whatever it cost to reinvent the cubicle might have been more productively used to help Meta address slumping ad sales and increased competition.

At least The Cube is quite nice to look at.

It's hard to say the same about Microsoft's new Minecraft-themed Crocs.

Yes, Crocs: the foam clogs that were inexplicably acceptable for a year or two but have since become a byword for unsophisticated footwear.

Here's the "Minecraft Elevated Clog" in all its glory.

Minecraft Crocs

Minecraft Crocs – Click to enlarge

You'll need $59.99 to take these beauties home in adult sizes from the Crocs shop. Thankfully they qualify for free shipping!

Microsoft has offered no justification for its collaboration with Crocs but suggested wearers might flip the strap down while playing in Creative mode and restore the strap to secure their feet while employing Sport mode.

Minecraft completionists might want to pair the plastic shoes with the $3,000 Minecraft-themed Burberry coat Microsoft launched in November 2022. Or maybe wear them to work at Meta, where they will be hidden inside The Cube. ®

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