Cage match: Zuck finally realizes Elon is full of twit

How can a billionaire in his 50s be this much of a dweeb?

Mark Zuckerberg isn't shying away from his supposed cage match with Elon Musk, though he wants the world to know it probably isn't going to happen – and it's not his fault.

The billionaire pair have been feuding since June over Zuck's then-rumored launch of Twitter competitor Threads, which was unleashed in July. Musk, you may recall, openly challenged Zuckerberg to a cage fight that the Meta CEO was ready and willing to accept. 

After a month of Musk's subsequent dithering, though, Zuck has been wondering out loud how genuine the chief Twit has been about the challenge he made.

"I think we can all agree Elon isn't serious and it's time to move on," Zuckerberg said on Threads on Sunday. He said UFC President Dana White had offered to make the bout a legitimate charity match, though with Musk's ongoing failure to commit, the Facebook boss said it's "time to move on [and] focus on competing with people who take the sport seriously." 

Musk had made the excuse that he needed an MRI scan and possible surgery before any fight. 

Don't forget there is probably something else on the SpaceX boss's mind: Zuckerberg can actually fight, having had training in mixed martial arts and competed in public.

Musk suggested on Friday the fight would be managed not by the UFC, but by his and Zuckerberg's foundations. Additionally, the Twitter owner said he had spoken to the Italian Prime Minister and Minister of Culture, who he claimed had "agreed on an epic location" for the contest.

If Elon ever gets serious about a real date and official event, he knows how to reach me

Many assumed said epic location would be the Colosseum in Rome, a notion culture minister Gennaro Sangiuliano rebuffed to The Guardian Saturday. While admitting he had been in discussions with Elon, "it will not be held in Rome," Sangiuliano said. 

(The Tesla supremo also at one point said he was open to a non-fight fight with Zuck: a simple verbal debate about some topic or other, in other words, signaling another climbdown.)

The same day Sangiuliano spoke to that newspaper, Zuckerberg posted on Threads that he had been ready to battle "since the day Elon challenged me." He noted Musk had still not agreed to an actual date as of Saturday, and that "if he ever [does] … you'll hear it from me." 

"Not holding my breath for Elon," Zuck added.

We'll get FSD before we get this cage fight

Come Sunday, Zuckerberg appeared to be just as confused by the situation as the rest of us after the absurd affair reached a whole new level. 

"Elon won't confirm a date, then says he needs surgery, and now asks to do a practice round in my backyard instead," Zuckerberg sighed on Threads. "If Elon ever gets serious about a real date and official event, he knows how to reach me." 

For those wondering whether we can trust Zuck's claims that Elon offered him a backyard wrestling match as a consolation prize, don't worry - ol' Elon decided to produce the humiliating receipts himself. 

"If you still want to do a real MMA fight, then you should train on your own and let me know when you're ready to compete. I don't want to keep hyping something that will never happen, so you should either decide you're going to do this and do it soon, or we should move on," Zuckerberg told Musk, judging from a screenshot of their text messages that Elon shared.

Musk's response to that text is all the proof needed to show he's not taking it seriously. "I will be in Palo Alto on Monday. Let's fight in your Octagon," the world's sometimes richest man offered. 

"I have not been practicing much," Musk admitted, but that apparently won't matter. "While I think it is very unlikely, given our size difference, perhaps you are a modern day Bruce Lee and will somehow win," he added. 

Neither X Corp nor Tesla responded to questions asking whether Zuckerberg had responded to the texts from Musk, though Elon stepped in again today to make it clear that he's still just as serious as we'd all expect. 

"For the Tesla FSD test drive in Palo Alto tonight, I will ask the car to drive to [Mark Zuckerberg's] house," Musk tweeted, adding he plans to live stream his journey on X, aka Twitter, so we can all monitor his adventure in real time.

"If we get lucky and Zuck … actually answers the door, the fight is on!" Sure. ®

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