Basic projector repair job turns into armed encounter at secret bunker

Escort's forgotten cap left techie facing rifles and a debrief

On Call Welcome once again to On Call, The Register's reader-contributed column that tells tales of your tech support misadventures.

This week, meet a reader we'll Regomize as "Andy" who shared a story from his time as a tech support engineer for an audio-visual equipment supplier.

"We used to supply all sorts of kit from humble office whiteboards all the way up to huge video walls used in control rooms for power stations or telco network control centers," Andy told On Call.

In the story he sent to The Register, Andy's job was to visit a site he described as "an internationally important top-secret control bunker, buried deep under the UK countryside."

Andy didn't know exactly what happened at this site, but it was clearly Very Important because when the client there required urgent repairs, they arranged a police escort to speed technicians to the site.

On this occasion, Andy didn't need an escort because his job was to replace a CRT tube on a ceiling-mounted projector that wasn't an essential piece of national security infrastructure.

Andy was, however, met by a military officer in the car park who watched carefully as he unpacked his tools and ladder then accompanied him onto the site.

Accessing the bunker required Andy to pass through several tight security gates, an impossible task while carrying a ladder. Andy therefore went back and forth through those gates several times because site security was so strict, the idea of holding one open for even a few seconds was intolerable.

The next obstacle facing Andy was a spiral staircase that descended several floors beneath the surface.

Fixing the projector took less time than reaching the bunker. And then the return journey involved identical security.

Andy eventually made it back to the surface, only for the officer to realize he had left his cap down below.

At this point, the officer had two choices: let Andy return to his car unescorted, or repeat the arduous journey into the bunker and back again.

The officer thankfully let Andy proceed alone, so he strode out of the building and headed for his car.

"About halfway back I heard a shout of 'HALT!'" Andy told On Call.

That command came from a pair of soldiers, both with rifles raised and pointed in his direction. One was staring down the barrel at him, which Andy took as a sign he was deadly serious.

Before things got nasty, Andy got lucky. One of the soldiers was a former schoolmate, and surmised Andy was no threat.

That assessment did not exempt Andy from a debrief. "Civilians wandering around this site without an escort was not taken lightly," he told On Call. Happily, he was released after just a few minutes, the client didn't complain, and neither did Andy's boss.

But Andy later heard that the officer who went back for his hat received quite a dressing down!

Have you breached protocol in a secure area? If so, click here to breach it again by sharing your story with On Call. As we have done in this piece, we will not reveal your name and take great care to Regomize your exploits. ®