8th February 2010 Archive • The Register

Scre-EE-m if you wanna go faster: BT's mobile network reigns supreme in UK-wide speed and latency tests

Meet the ‘DPU’ – accelerated network cards designed to go where CPUs and GPUs can’t be bothered

Join us in the cloud, breathes Microsoft as it gifts Azure SQL Managed Instance customers a surprise horsepower boost

Won't duke, duke, duke the URLs: AWS backtracks on plans to block old-style S3 paths

Brexit travel permits designed to avoid 7,000-lorry jams come January depend on software that won't be finished till April

Key API management platform for UK public sector scrapped: DWP ends £5m MuleSoft project

HubSpot must prove core sales features to be taken seriously in enterprise CRM market

Epic, Spotify, ProtonMail and pals rise up as one against Apple's 30% cut, call for end to Cupertino-style markets

Error-bnb: Techies scramble to fix Airbnb website bug that let strangers read each others' account messages

IT guy whose job was to stop ex-staff running amok on the network is jailed for running amok on the network

Microsoft claims to love open source – this alleged leak of Windows XP code is probably not what it had in mind, tho

Spain's highway agency is monitoring speeding hotspots using bulk phone location data

Not Particularly Mortifying: IEEE eggheads probe npm registry, say JavaScript libs not as insecure as feared

Microservices guru says think serverless, not Kubernetes: You don't want to manage 'a towering edifice of stuff'

Imagine working for GitHub and writing a command-line interface for the platform, then GitHub makes an 'official' one

Anglian Water fishes for on-trend laundry list – including low-code work – in £24m trawl

Alphabet promises to no longer bung tens of millions of dollars to alleged sex pest execs who quit mid-probe

Looking for a new tech job? Just browsing? This week's list includes roles for devs, engineers, and Perl maestros

'Robbery, economic plunder, victim of larcenous cronyism and a heist'

WeWork Won’tWork in China, at least not as majority owner

Sweetheart tax deal appeal: European Commission takes €13bn Apple state aid claim to the EU's highest court

Help! My printer won't print no matter how much I shout at it!

Hootsuite melts ICE deal after staff revolt: CEO vows not to divide biz like agents divided families at the US border

Facebook is the internet's cigarette: Addictive and laced with nasty stuff – 'shocking images, graphic videos, headlines that incite outrage'

Geek's Guide

FYI: Mind how you go. We're more or less oblivious to 75% of junk in geosynchronous orbits around Earth

Bennu Jerry's, anyone? OSIRIS-REx probe to attempt 3 scoops of asteroid next month before bringing samples home

NASA's hefty Martian rover will use an AI brain on a robot arm to map out signs of ancient life on Red Planet

Moonshot: Making spaceships with Microsoft's refreshed HoloLens 2 nerd goggles

First they came for chess, then Go... and now, oh for crying out loud, AI systems can beat us at curling

SharePoint Syntex: Microsoft rolls out AI that automatically categorises documents

All those ‘teleworking is the new normal’ predictions? Not so much, say bosses

It's powered by a mega-corp AI, it has a Liquid Mode, but it's not a T-1000. It's Adobe's PDF auto-reflow for mobile

Verity Stob

First-world problems: The pumpkin spice latte is here, but the Starbucks loyalty card app has wiped my balance

Can The Register run Crysis Remastered? Yes, but we don't see why you would want to

Onwards! To the airport and adventure! And this rather lachrymose Linux screen

Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of 'Advanced Night Repair' skin cream helping NASA to commercialise space

8th > February > 2010 Archive

Scre-EE-m if you wanna go faster: BT's mobile network reigns supreme in UK-wide speed and latency tests

Meet the ‘DPU’ – accelerated network cards designed to go where CPUs and GPUs can’t be bothered

Join us in the cloud, breathes Microsoft as it gifts Azure SQL Managed Instance customers a surprise horsepower boost

Won't duke, duke, duke the URLs: AWS backtracks on plans to block old-style S3 paths

Brexit travel permits designed to avoid 7,000-lorry jams come January depend on software that won't be finished till April

Key API management platform for UK public sector scrapped: DWP ends £5m MuleSoft project

HubSpot must prove core sales features to be taken seriously in enterprise CRM market

Epic, Spotify, ProtonMail and pals rise up as one against Apple's 30% cut, call for end to Cupertino-style markets

Error-bnb: Techies scramble to fix Airbnb website bug that let strangers read each others' account messages

IT guy whose job was to stop ex-staff running amok on the network is jailed for running amok on the network

Microsoft claims to love open source – this alleged leak of Windows XP code is probably not what it had in mind, tho

Spain's highway agency is monitoring speeding hotspots using bulk phone location data

Not Particularly Mortifying: IEEE eggheads probe npm registry, say JavaScript libs not as insecure as feared

Microservices guru says think serverless, not Kubernetes: You don't want to manage 'a towering edifice of stuff'

Imagine working for GitHub and writing a command-line interface for the platform, then GitHub makes an 'official' one

Anglian Water fishes for on-trend laundry list – including low-code work – in £24m trawl

Alphabet promises to no longer bung tens of millions of dollars to alleged sex pest execs who quit mid-probe

Looking for a new tech job? Just browsing? This week's list includes roles for devs, engineers, and Perl maestros

'Robbery, economic plunder, victim of larcenous cronyism and a heist'

WeWork Won’tWork in China, at least not as majority owner

Sweetheart tax deal appeal: European Commission takes €13bn Apple state aid claim to the EU's highest court

Help! My printer won't print no matter how much I shout at it!

Hootsuite melts ICE deal after staff revolt: CEO vows not to divide biz like agents divided families at the US border

Facebook is the internet's cigarette: Addictive and laced with nasty stuff – 'shocking images, graphic videos, headlines that incite outrage'

FYI: Mind how you go. We're more or less oblivious to 75% of junk in geosynchronous orbits around Earth

Bennu Jerry's, anyone? OSIRIS-REx probe to attempt 3 scoops of asteroid next month before bringing samples home

NASA's hefty Martian rover will use an AI brain on a robot arm to map out signs of ancient life on Red Planet

Moonshot: Making spaceships with Microsoft's refreshed HoloLens 2 nerd goggles

First they came for chess, then Go... and now, oh for crying out loud, AI systems can beat us at curling

SharePoint Syntex: Microsoft rolls out AI that automatically categorises documents

All those ‘teleworking is the new normal’ predictions? Not so much, say bosses

It's powered by a mega-corp AI, it has a Liquid Mode, but it's not a T-1000. It's Adobe's PDF auto-reflow for mobile

First-world problems: The pumpkin spice latte is here, but the Starbucks loyalty card app has wiped my balance

Can The Register run Crysis Remastered? Yes, but we don't see why you would want to

Onwards! To the airport and adventure! And this rather lachrymose Linux screen

Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of 'Advanced Night Repair' skin cream helping NASA to commercialise space

8th > February > 2010 Archive

Netezza taps NEC for data warehouse kit

Google doppelgänger casts riddle over interwebs

Power7 - Big Blue eye on UNIX

Pupil database claimed to be breach-free

Power7 v Power6 - it's all about the cache

Promise pops up in UK with Drobo-ish box

Microscope-wielding boffins crack cordless phone crypto

Surprise departure for SAP boss

Endeavour en route to ISS

State officials seize InPhase assets in lieu of taxes

Wales auditor arrested over indecent images allegations

Drink beer not fizzy pop for pity's sake, say boffins

China stomps cybercrook training outfit

MySQL handler Jacobs walks out on Oracle

French poised to seize Port of Dover

Cloud firm wafts out white label ERP for small biz

Gov tempts young London onto ID database with booze, 'games'

Sony to demo 'world's first' in-box wireless tech

US scientists get free cloud on-ramp

Leaky antivirus defences letting malware through

Mandybill is mostly harmless, says MP watchdog

Samsung preps Wacko Jacko movie hard drive

Asus Eee PC 1005PE

US gives Chinese man 2.5 years over fake Cisco kit

FBI calls for two year retention for ISP data

BAE broke bribery pledge, faked US arms-export applications

Bishop Hill: Gonzo science and the Hockey Stick

Archos posts 'full' Linux distro for Android tablet

Online Kiwis maybe feeling Oz censor trickledown

Eidos confirms Championship Manager Online shutdown

Vodafone tosses out idiot tweeter

Half a million PCs can access Schengen's 'secure' database

El Reg reader assembles own iPad

LG eyes golden age of telly with retro CRT set

Phoenix recovers barbecued data in Europe

Cheeky French hackers hijack Tata website

iPhone OS 3.1.3 unlock app posted

Dell snaps up crashed Exanet

Canon intros entry-level DSLR

Google (Voice) solves universal translation soonish

Sweden to prosecute alleged Cisco, NASA hacker

Linus Torvalds doesn't hate the Googlephone

Microsoft kills FAST's Linux and Unix search biz