2nd February 2013 Archive • The Register

Scre-EE-m if you wanna go faster: BT's mobile network reigns supreme in UK-wide speed and latency tests

Meet the ‘DPU’ – accelerated network cards designed to go where CPUs and GPUs can’t be bothered

Join us in the cloud, breathes Microsoft as it gifts Azure SQL Managed Instance customers a surprise horsepower boost

Won't duke, duke, duke the URLs: AWS backtracks on plans to block old-style S3 paths

Brexit travel permits designed to avoid 7,000-lorry jams come January depend on software that won't be finished till April

Key API management platform for UK public sector scrapped: DWP ends £5m MuleSoft project

HubSpot must prove core sales features to be taken seriously in enterprise CRM market

Epic, Spotify, ProtonMail and pals rise up as one against Apple's 30% cut, call for end to Cupertino-style markets

Error-bnb: Techies scramble to fix Airbnb website bug that let strangers read each others' account messages

IT guy whose job was to stop ex-staff running amok on the network is jailed for running amok on the network

Microsoft claims to love open source – this alleged leak of Windows XP code is probably not what it had in mind, tho

Spain's highway agency is monitoring speeding hotspots using bulk phone location data

Not Particularly Mortifying: IEEE eggheads probe npm registry, say JavaScript libs not as insecure as feared

Microservices guru says think serverless, not Kubernetes: You don't want to manage 'a towering edifice of stuff'

Imagine working for GitHub and writing a command-line interface for the platform, then GitHub makes an 'official' one

Anglian Water fishes for on-trend laundry list – including low-code work – in £24m trawl

Alphabet promises to no longer bung tens of millions of dollars to alleged sex pest execs who quit mid-probe

Looking for a new tech job? Just browsing? This week's list includes roles for devs, engineers, and Perl maestros

'Robbery, economic plunder, victim of larcenous cronyism and a heist'

WeWork Won’tWork in China, at least not as majority owner

Sweetheart tax deal appeal: European Commission takes €13bn Apple state aid claim to the EU's highest court

Help! My printer won't print no matter how much I shout at it!

Hootsuite melts ICE deal after staff revolt: CEO vows not to divide biz like agents divided families at the US border

Facebook is the internet's cigarette: Addictive and laced with nasty stuff – 'shocking images, graphic videos, headlines that incite outrage'

Geek's Guide

FYI: Mind how you go. We're more or less oblivious to 75% of junk in geosynchronous orbits around Earth

Bennu Jerry's, anyone? OSIRIS-REx probe to attempt 3 scoops of asteroid next month before bringing samples home

NASA's hefty Martian rover will use an AI brain on a robot arm to map out signs of ancient life on Red Planet

Moonshot: Making spaceships with Microsoft's refreshed HoloLens 2 nerd goggles

Bad boys bad boys, what you gonna do? Los Angeles Police Department found fibbing about facial recognition use

First they came for chess, then Go... and now, oh for crying out loud, AI systems can beat us at curling

SharePoint Syntex: Microsoft rolls out AI that automatically categorises documents

All those ‘teleworking is the new normal’ predictions? Not so much, say bosses

Verity Stob

First-world problems: The pumpkin spice latte is here, but the Starbucks loyalty card app has wiped my balance

Can The Register run Crysis Remastered? Yes, but we don't see why you would want to

Onwards! To the airport and adventure! And this rather lachrymose Linux screen

Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of 'Advanced Night Repair' skin cream helping NASA to commercialise space

2nd > February > 2013 Archive

FTC issues new privacy guidelines for mobile firms

'Clean up your act, or Congress may do it for you'

02 Feb 00:55 | 5

Sea Launch comsat rocket goes titsup 40 seconds into launch

Elon Musk smiles smugly, strokes cat

02 Feb 01:06 | 46

Twitter breach leaks emails, passwords of 250,000 users

Links to media site attacks suspected

02 Feb 01:57 | 36

First video inside thinking fish's brain captured by boffins

'FOOD!', piscine predator ponders purposefully

02 Feb 01:57 | 50

Introducing the Open Source Rookie of the Year... Whoa, it's Microsoft

Open ... and ShutYou don't understand the Power of the Source

02 Feb 08:24 | 52

Microsoft Dell deal would restore PC makers' confidence

AnalysisThings don't get much worse than 'bad-to-neutral'

02 Feb 10:02 | 59

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