Assassin's Creed Valhalla is a monastery-burning romp that would be way better if it was not an Assassin's Creed game
The RPGCan we start a petition to abandon the whole 'lol jk ur in a simulation' arc too?
27 Nov 2020 | 14
Vulture Central's sub-editor studied Ancient History at university, but somehow ended up handling The Register's UK-hours production. An old-school journalist, he started out in regional news when it was still printed on paper but that industry died a death. As well as his main duties, he has sanctioned side hustles curating regular Bootnotes for readers to giggle at over a ham sandwich, and a monthly gaming column called The Register Plays Games. He likes beer, heavy metal, and video games all a bit too much. Typos may be his fault.
Ad banned for suggesting London black cabs have properties that prevent the spread of coronavirus
'It's like being in my own bubble back here'
25 Nov 2020 | 63
Snap decision: 74-year-old Florida man wrests puppy from jaws of alligator
And both lived to tell the tale
23 Nov 2020 | 38
Billionaire's Pagani Pa-gone-i after teen son takes hypercar out for a drive, trashes it
These things cost over $3m new
19 Nov 2020 | 125
When humans return to the Moon in '2024', HPE would like us to remember: We built the computer that simmed this
What could go wrong with NASA's SLS rocket? The Aitken system is finding out
18 Nov 2020 | 20
Reports of one's death have been greatly exaggerated: French radio station splurges obituary bank over interwebs
Come to think of it, has anyone checked in with the Queen lately?
17 Nov 2020 | 45
We've made it: Microsoft deems El Reg relevant enough to have a play with the nerfed version of its upcoming Xbox
ReviewNot sure if we should be honoured or offended, but the Series S is a huge step up from its predecessor
05 Nov 2020 | 39
Luke Skywalker used to bullseye womp rats in his T-16 on Tatooine. But Star Wars: Squadrons misses the mark
The RPGSadly, the space opera franchise's first proper starfighter game in yonks just isn't that good
30 Oct 2020 | 39
Can The Register run Crysis Remastered? Yes, but we don't see why you would want to
The RPGIt's the 'gaming funk' edition, also starring Wasteland 3, Crusader Kings 3, and Among Us
25 Sep 2020 | 26
As we stand on the precipice of science fiction into science fact, people say: Hell yeah, I want to augment my eyesight!
They're called glasses, look it up
18 Sep 2020 | 121
Amazon Lex can now speak British English... or simply 'English' if you're British
Alexa-derived chatbot tech allegedly understands 'the British accent', but fails to recognise that there are many
17 Sep 2020 | 95
Salon told to change ad looking for 'happy' stylist because it 'discriminated against unhappy people'
Startup idea: Depressed barbershop for depressed people
04 Sep 2020 | 74
Death Stranding: Essential worker simulator unites its players amid a lockdown far worse than the real-life one
The RPGTrudging through PC port of 2019 console title in 2020 is weird
28 Aug 2020 | 24
Global heatmap of cheater density says Brazil is the worst at video games, but there's no data on China
Script kiddies run rampant in Minecraft
27 Aug 2020 | 3
So... just 'Good' then? KFC pulls Finger Lickin' slogan while pandemic rumbles on
PollWe're sure readers can think of a suitable replacement
25 Aug 2020 | 80
A bridge too far: Passengers on Sydney's new ferries would get 'their heads knocked off' on upper deck, say politicos
Can we make them higher?
24 Aug 2020 | 116
Trucking hell: Kid leaves dad in monster debt after buying oversized vehicle on eBay
Don't. Leave. Your. Laptop. Signed. In. Where. Children. Can. Reach. It
21 Aug 2020 | 136
Bunch of mugs keep risking life and limb to 'crockery bomb' sad little roundabout
Highways England seems to be losing the war
20 Aug 2020 | 48
'Get out of my office, you're being a pest!' Yes, son. Toymaker releases work-from-home-themed play sets
Is this gonna be forever?
19 Aug 2020 | 43
Norfolk's second-greatest cultural export set for return with 3-metre monument in honour of the Turkey Twizzler
Now with 67-70 per cent real turkey!
17 Aug 2020 | 49
Eagle-on-EGLE* violence: American icon sends govt-flown drone hurtling into the waters of Lake Michigan
*Department of Environment, Great Lakes, and Energy
14 Aug 2020 | 34
US govt proposes elephant showers for every American after Prez Trump says trickles dampen his haircare routine
UpdatedThis is how you win an election
13 Aug 2020 | 121
Snortical warfare: Wild boar launches amphibious assault against German beachgoers
VideoStealing nudists' laptops? An appetite for cocaine? They're evolving!
13 Aug 2020 | 49
What are you gonna do? Give me detention? Illinois schools ban pyjamas in online classes
While remote-working adults adhere to 'business in the front, party in the back'
11 Aug 2020 | 65
