The RPG
Battlefield 2042: Please don't be the death knell of the franchise, please don't be the death knell of the franchise
Another terrible launch, but DICE is already working on improvements
04 Dec 2021 09:00 | 10
Richard Currie
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Vulture Central's sub-editor studied Ancient History at university, but somehow ended up handling The Register's UK-hours production. An old-school journalist, he started out in regional news when it was still printed on paper but that industry died a death. As well as his main duties, he has sanctioned side hustles curating regular Bootnotes for readers to giggle at over a ham sandwich, and a monthly gaming column called The Register Plays Games. He likes beer, heavy metal, and video games all a bit too much. Typos may be his fault.
Bootnotes
What a bunch of bricks: Crooks knock hole in toyshop wall, flee with €35k Lego haul
Police still trying to piece everything together
02 Dec 2021 13:00 | 105
Bootnotes
Desktop bust and custom iPhone 13 Pro made from melted-down Tesla car for the Elon Musk dork in your life
Just $8,300!
25 Nov 2021 14:34 | 60
Bootnotes
Joint venture: Uber Eats to offer weed orders in Ontario
O Cannabis! Meanwhile, ride biz back to court in the UK over driver contracts
23 Nov 2021 12:37 | 17
Bootnotes
From the studio that brought you 'Mortal Wombat' comes 'Pernicious Possum'
Woman tells New Zealand police she was held hostage by small marsupial
16 Nov 2021 13:15 | 29
Bootnotes
Ofcom announces plan to protect endangered species – the Great British phone box
BT is getting axe-happy but regulator's scheme could save 5,000 kiosks
10 Nov 2021 11:45 | 32
Personal Tech
Google's Pixel 6 fingerprint reader is rubbish because of 'enhanced security algorithms'
Move over 'dog ate my homework', there's a new excuse in town
09 Nov 2021 14:19 | 58
Bootnotes
Samsung releases pair of jeans that can't do anything except cover your legs and hold a Galaxy Z Flip 3
Who needs big pockets, right? Other than, you know, literally everyone
03 Nov 2021 13:30 | 72
Personal Tech
Battery in 2021 MacBook Pro way easier to replace, says iFixit – shame about the rest
When we say 'way easier,' you better have a steady hand and nerves of steel
01 Nov 2021 13:45 | 11
The RPG
New World: Grindy? Check. Repetitive? Check. Fun? We hate to say it... but check
Goddamn it, Jeff Bezos' lot can make a passable MMORPG after all
30 Oct 2021 09:38 | 31
Offbeat
UK's competition regulator announces market study into music-streaming biz
Watchdog is getting comfortable with its new digital remit
19 Oct 2021 12:07 | 5
Bootnotes
Facebook posts job ad for 10,000 'high-skilled' roles to 'build the metaverse' – and they'll all be based in the EU
Announcement uses the phrase 'world-leading' without referring to UK once
18 Oct 2021 14:30 | 47
Legal
FTC carpet bombs industry with letters warning that fake reviews will be punished
The Register is an amazing website, simply one of the very best out there. Extremely cool people. 10/10
14 Oct 2021 14:30 | 43
Bootnotes
Macintosh Classic II and triceratops skull on auction: One's a dinosaur, the other has three horns on its face
Christie's 'Science and Natural History' collection isn't joking when it says it's 'a journey in time'
13 Oct 2021 11:30 | 19
Bootnotes
Instagram is testing feature that tells panicking users the service is broken again
Have you tried reading books?
12 Oct 2021 11:30 | 46
Bootnotes
Cheeky chappy rides horse around London filling station, singing: 'I don't need petrol 'cos he runs on carrots'
Yes, it's UK's turn for a fuel shortage
01 Oct 2021 12:45 | 192
Bootnotes
Want to feel old? Aussie cyclist draws Nirvana baby in Strava on streets of Adelaide because Nevermind is 30
Meanwhile, Nirvana baby unchuffed about being Nirvana baby
27 Sep 2021 12:13 | 38
The RPG
Real world not giving you enough anxiety? Try being hunted down by the perfect organism in Alien: Isolation
2014 stealth-em-up hasn't aged a day
28 Aug 2021 10:37 | 21
Bootnotes
'No peeing towards Russia' sign appears on country's Arctic border with Norway
Don't poke the bear! Or urinate on it
26 Aug 2021 16:31 | 58
Bootnotes
Oh the humanity: McDonald's out of milkshakes across Great Britain
Will this nightmare ever cease?
24 Aug 2021 15:47 | 313
Bootnotes
Magna Carta mayhem: Protesters lay siege to Edinburgh Castle, citing obscure Latin text that has never applied in Scotland
Harry Potter and the Unstoppable Simpletons
18 Aug 2021 10:32 | 231
Bootnotes
You can now live life like Paul Allen on Microsoft cofounder's luxury yacht for '£1m a week'
Anyone want to start a Kickstarter page for a Reg reader getaway?
09 Aug 2021 17:03 | 41
Bootnotes
Woman sues McDonald's for $14 after cheeseburger ad did exactly what it's designed to
Orthodox Christian said mouth-watering banner made her break Lent fast
09 Aug 2021 11:22 | 142
Bootnotes
84-year-old fined €250,000 for keeping Nazi war machines – including tank – in basement
Spared prison but must give Panther and AA gun to collector or museum
04 Aug 2021 11:27 | 306
Personal Tech
'Prophetic' Steve Jobs autograph telling kid to 'go change the world!' among Apple memorabilia at auction
The kid went on to work for IBM. Awks
03 Aug 2021 10:38 | 25
The RPG
Wish you could play tabletop Dungeons & Dragons but have no friends? Solasta: Crown of the Magister offers a solution
Plus: A tale of tech woe and E3 best bits
26 Jun 2021 07:03 | 30
The RPG
Days Gone PC: Melting pot of open-world influences makes for one of the more immersive zombie slayers out there
Decent port of a PlayStation 4 'exclusive', but it's far from original
29 May 2021 06:58 | 20
Bootnotes
File this next to Mars bars under 'things that should not be deep-fried': Marks & Spencer's Colin the Caterpillar
How was this allowed to happen? Ah right, food delivery app publicity stunt
04 May 2021 12:42 | 38
The RPG
Octopath Traveler: Love letter to JRPG golden age has great combat but retro graphics highlight the genre's tedium
You sure have to press 'A' a lot
01 May 2021 07:48 | 7
Bootnotes
Technoking of comedy? Elon Musk to host Saturday Night Live
Yes that was a Betteridge headline (badoom, tish)
26 Apr 2021 11:31 | 35
Bootnotes
From book shop to tat bazaar to cloud behemoth to grocer, what's Amazon up to now? Augmented-reality hairstyles
Curl up and dye, anyone?
21 Apr 2021 12:01 | 9
Bootnotes
God bless this mess: Study says UK's Christian beliefs had 'important' role in Brexit
Church of England first left the European bloc in the 16th century
20 Apr 2021 09:15 | 284
Bootnotes
Home office setup with built-in boiling water tap for tea and coffee without getting up is a monument to deskcess
If only it had a built-in loo and pillow, then we could work 24/7
16 Apr 2021 13:01 | 112
Bootnotes
Listen, son... Monster trucks just aren't cool anymore. Real winners drive Tesla Roadsters
Matchbox goes green with sustainably produced toys based on electric cars
15 Apr 2021 12:01 | 38
Legal
Jackie 'You have no authority here' Weaver calls on the UK to extend Coronavirus Act provisions for online meetings
Because local democracy is hilarious – oh, and transparency's good too
15 Apr 2021 08:11 | 39
Bootnotes
UK's National Rail backs down from greyscale website tribute to Prince Phil after visually impaired users complain
Protip: Ad/tracker blockers. Use them (though not on The Reg)
12 Apr 2021 11:15 | 63
Bootnotes
Mullet over: Aussie boys' school tells kids 'business in the front, party in the back' hairstyle is 'not acceptable'
A fine Australian tradition stomped on
31 Mar 2021 11:34 | 110
The RPG
Rogue elements: Hades and Loop Hero manage to draw on the same legacy while having very little in common
Let's go round again, maybe we'll turn back the hands of time
27 Mar 2021 09:20 | 13
Bootnotes
Something fishy is going on in Taiwan as folk change name to include 'salmon' for free sushi
Youngsters rise to the bait after restaurant chain's promotion
18 Mar 2021 13:14 | 36
The RPG
Valheim: How the heck has more 'indie shovelware with PS2 graphics' sold 4 million copies in a matter of weeks?
Now, this might shock you, but it's something we like to call 'fun' (if you have friends)
26 Feb 2021 17:14 | 60
Offbeat
Healthy 32-year-old offered COVID-19 vaccine because doctors had him down as 6.2cm tall with BMI of 28,000
Bloke was placed into vulnerable category because of his weight
19 Feb 2021 17:16 | 92
Bootnotes
No egrets: Ardent twitchers fined for breaking lockdown after bloke spots northern mockingbird in his garden
'Don't give out the location!!'
16 Feb 2021 13:27 | 49
Bootnotes
Forget about an AI stealing your job, even pigs can be trained to use computers
No one can save your bacon now
11 Feb 2021 13:13 | 43
Offbeat
We imagine this maths professor's lecture was fascinating – sadly he was muted for two hours
And more gaffes from the world of lockdown videoconferencing
10 Feb 2021 14:45 | 56
The RPG
Subnautica and Below Zero: Nurture your inner MacGyver and Kevin Costner on an ocean-planet holiday
Yes, survival games can tell great stories too
29 Jan 2021 16:00 | 9
Bootnotes
Attack of the cryptidiots: One wants Bitcoin-flush hard drive he threw out in 2013 back, the other lost USB stick password
A combined total of $575m deleted... and counting
14 Jan 2021 17:59 | 89
Bootnotes
The CIA's 'entire' collection of UFO records has been made available for you to sigh at
Is that The X-Files theme we hear?
13 Jan 2021 12:30 | 80
Bootnotes
Fearing she had stumbled across a body, dogwalker reports pota-toe to police
At last, King Edward's remains found
11 Jan 2021 14:01 | 38
Bootnotes
Lay down your souls to the gods of rock 'n' roll: Conspiracy theorists' 5G 'vaccine' chip schematic is actually for a guitar pedal
One owned by every 13-year-old with dreams of slinging an axe
05 Jan 2021 12:35 | 137
The RPG
Cyberpunk 2077: There's a great game within screaming to get out, but sadly it was released 57 years too early
Over-promised, under-delivered, and plays like an alpha – try again later
25 Dec 2020 16:00 | 77
Personal Tech
And you thought that $999 Mac stand was dear: Steve Wozniak's Apple II doodles fetch $630,272 at auction
Meanwhile, Apple-1 in original box signed by Woz goes for $736,862
21 Dec 2020 12:40 | 42
Bootnotes
Atlantic City auctions off chance to hit Big Red Button and make grotesque Trump Plaza casino go boom
Can we do Trump Tower next?
18 Dec 2020 13:32 | 64
Updated
PSA: The 2020 monolith is a dead meme. You can stop putting them up now. Please
Some of us actually have work to do
08 Dec 2020 13:06 | 72
Bootnotes
Let's check in now with the new California monolith... And it's gone, torn down by a bunch of MAGA muppets
Good to see the youth being productive
04 Dec 2020 15:29 | 123
Bootnotes
Where's the mysterious metal monolith today then? Oh look, it's atop a California mountain
Is this some kind of sick game of alien whack-a-mole?
03 Dec 2020 11:07 | 87
Bootnotes
Glastonbury hippy shop Hemp in Avalon rapped for spouting 'plandemic' pseudoscience
WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!
02 Dec 2020 13:01 | 130
Bootnotes
Scotch eggs ascend to the 'substantial meal' pantheon as means to pop to pub for a pint during pernicious pandemic
Meanwhile, landlord reckons he's found a loophole in coronavirus restrictions by naming beer 'Substantial Meal'
01 Dec 2020 13:47 | 120
Bootnotes
Uri Geller calls off 20-year ban on Pokémon trading card that 'stole' his 'signature image'
What a spoon
30 Nov 2020 12:30 | 53
The RPG
Assassin's Creed Valhalla is a monastery-burning romp that would be way better if it was not an Assassin's Creed game
Can we start a petition to abandon the whole 'lol jk ur in a simulation' arc too?
27 Nov 2020 11:06 | 33
Bootnotes
Ad banned for suggesting London black cabs have properties that prevent the spread of coronavirus
'It's like being in my own bubble back here'
25 Nov 2020 13:30 | 72
