Jedi

They were not the cloud you were looking for, insists Amazon Web Services in unsealed JEDI protest

President Donald Trump ████ AWS in the ████ by ████ ████ to ████

SaaS16 Dec 2020 | 28

Makes sense, this does, says US appeals court as it swats away Oracle's protests in $10bn JEDI contract spat

Updated Seems the only things being generated by Pentagon deal are legal arguments

SaaS02 Sep 2020 | 13

Microsoft claims AWS has used new JEDI mind trick with secret contract objection filing

Updated It's over, Amazon, we have the high ground (and all you had was a high price) says Redmond

SaaS08 May 2020 | 18

US judge puts Amazon's challenge to Pentagon JEDI deal into force stasis

Giving military time to look at aspects of decision

SaaS20 Apr 2020 | 20

Pentagon watchdog sets phasers to none, clears $10bn JEDI contract process but leaves door open for lawsuits

Collective amnesia over claimed 'screw Amazon' comment

SaaS15 Apr 2020 | 21

How's this for a JEDI mind trick? AWS waves hand, has Uncle Sam 'reconsider' $10bn contract award to Microsoft

Updated Bezos' juggernaut still not happy

SaaS13 Mar 2020 | 24

Judge Vulcan-nerve pinches JEDI deal after Amazon forks out $42m to pause Microsoft's military machinations

Pentagon's $10bn winner-takes-all cloud super-contract in stasis as Starship Bezos opens fire

SaaS13 Feb 2020 | 59

Jeff Bezos: I will depose King Trump

In today's episode of Absolutely Never Happening, Amazon wants the President to testify whether or not he personally ordered AWS JEDI snub

SaaS10 Feb 2020 | 134

Amazon: Trump photon-torpedoed our $10bn JEDI dream because he hates CEO Jeff Bezos

'Blatant and sustained effort' to deny AWS Pentagon IT mega-contract, cloud giant claims

SaaS09 Dec 2019 | 71

Use the courts, Jeff: Amazon to contest Microsoft scooping $10bn JEDI contract

Bezos' empire strikes back claiming 'unmistakable bias', self-recused defense chief denies it

SaaS15 Nov 2019 | 41

Pentagon beams down $10bn JEDI contract to Microsoft: Windows giant beats off Bezos

Congratulations, America, the home of Clippy (and Azure) is now running the US military's IT

SaaS26 Oct 2019 | 116

Luke, I am your father... which is why I must eject from JEDI decision, says US Defense Sec

Top brass beams aboard from $10bn IT brouhaha as it emerges son works for IBM

SaaS22 Oct 2019 | 31

Never tell me the odds! Oracle makes fresh appeal against $10bn JEDI ruling

Out of options we are running

SaaS28 Aug 2019 | 17

Pentagon says ethics complaint against JEDI mega-cloud is a non-issue. Its Time Lords say: That is not logical

Case not closed on concerns over how $10bn winner-takes-all super-contract was written

SaaS14 Aug 2019 | 13

Pentagon makes case for Return of the JEDI: There's only one cloud biz that can do the job and it starts with an A (or rhymes with loft)

DoD daleks want to exterminate Oracle's Vulcan mind-meld with White House

SaaS09 Aug 2019 | 49

This is not the cloud you're looking for.... Oracle's JEDI mind tricks work as Trump forces $10bn IT project to drop out of warp

Defense Sec halts contract decision, probes for Amazon bias

SaaS01 Aug 2019 | 56

The Empire Strikes Back: Trump discovers $10bn JEDI cloud deal may go to nemesis Jeff Bezos, demands probe

Updated Bad news for AWS and Microsoft, who are vying for US govt's winner-takes-all IT super-contract

SaaS18 Jul 2019 | 72

Oracle goes on for 50 pages about why it thinks the Pentagon's $10bn JEDI cloud contract stinks

Case heads to Federal Claims Court in a little over a week

SaaS01 Jul 2019 | 59

Oracle suspects Pentagon fell for a JEDI Prime trick: Amazon now accused of luring two officials with jobs

Big Red sets phasers to kill in space-opera-esque battle

SaaS09 May 2019 | 20

Cut open a tauntaun, this JEDI is frozen! US court halts lawsuit over biggest military cloud deal since the Death Star

Oracle's legal warship drops out of warp, on impulse power for now

SaaS20 Feb 2019 | 44

Judge denies Oracle's requests to add to JEDI cloud contract sueball

Says named documents are already covered by the record

SaaS31 Jan 2019 | 3

Pentagon admits it's now probing conflicts of interest at AWS over $10bn JEDI cloud deal

Earlier investigation would've been 'premature'

SaaS25 Jan 2019 | 9

Oracle's in-house lawyer denied access to Uncle Sam's procurement docs in JEDI legal battle

You can’t stop the change: Chalk one up to AWS as judge agrees with Big Red's rival

Legal10 Jan 2019 | 12

Oracle takes its gripes about Pentagon's JEDI contract to federal court

Great way to make friends during procurement for a $10bn contract, eh Larry?

SaaS11 Dec 2018 | 10

Oracle's JEDI mind-meld doesn't work on Uncle Sam's auditors: These are not the govt droids you are looking for

Federation snubs Larry Ellison's bid to break up $10bn winner-takes-all contract

SaaS14 Nov 2018 | 23

Microsoft to staff: We remain locked and loaded with US military – and will keep adding voice to AI ethics debate

Servicemen and women 'deserve' access to our tech... even if that includes Windows 10 October 2018 Update

Software29 Oct 2018 | 25

US congress-critters question prime directive of Pentagon's $10bn JEDI cloud contract

These are not the vendors you're looking for, republicans suggest in demand for probe

SaaS23 Oct 2018 | 13

Pentagon's JEDI mind tricks at odds with our 'values' says Google: Ad giant evaporates from $10bn cloud contract bid

'Compliance' is a corporate value isn't it?

SaaS09 Oct 2018 | 54

US JEDI military cloud network is so high-tech, bidders will have to submit their proposals by hand, on DVD

2020s cloud contract demands 1990s delivery method

SaaS27 Sep 2018 | 28

Cloud-slingers get 3-week extension to pitch for Pentagon's JEDI contract

Hate leads to... a single vendor

SaaS05 Sep 2018 | 8

This is the contract you've been looking for: Pentagon releases JEDI bids

Single-award contract could run for up to a decade, worth a possible $10bn

Software27 Jul 2018 | 18

New Pentagon CIO's JEDI mind-change trick: Controversial cloud deal paused

Former JPMorgan man wants to procure 'true enterprise cloud'

SaaS12 Jul 2018 | 4

Pentagon: JEDI bids on hold again, but it's still not the cloud contract you're looking for

US Department of Defense insistent on single vendor

SaaS01 Jun 2018 | 5

Alien Ninja Fembot Pirates vs the Jedi SAS Chuck Norris startroopers: RUMBLE

Weekend Big Data Project Machine Gun Jubblies!

Bootnotes06 Sep 2014 | 44

New Star Wars movie plot details leak, violate common sense and laws of physics

Can't add detail in subhead because SPOILERS

Bootnotes21 Jul 2014 | 131

El Reg acquires wildly dangerous laser cannon (with lightsabre option)

Soon to be mounted on head of a shark. Or maybe donkey

Science01 Nov 2012 | 75

Portland Jedi jailed for lightsabre rampage

Also banned from Toys R Us

Bootnotes01 Feb 2012 | 19

Jedi light-sabre beats Taser in Oregon parking-lot fracas

Mumbo-jumbo mystic impervious to cops' electric blasters

Bootnotes16 Dec 2011 | 87

Secret US 'Jedi' ghost-copters kept out of bin Laden raid

Downed Stealth Hawk was actually second-rate kit

Legal08 Nov 2011 | 45

Star Wars fanboys to restore Tatooine Homestead

Preservers of history

Personal Tech27 May 2011 | 15

Anti-religious campaigners smack down census Jedis

'Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?'

Legal09 Mar 2011 | 226

Geek tech firm loses Jedi credentials

Lucasfilm swoop crushes opposition

Personal Tech01 Sep 2010 | 14

LucasFilm sets lawyers on Jedi nameswipers

Your favourite quote adapted for the occasion goes here

Bootnotes24 Aug 2010 | 36

Spider-Man and Jedi Knights bust X-Men comic thief

'A real team effort'

Bootnotes04 May 2010 | 24

Jobcentre ejects Jedi Knight

Refuses to dehood, stormtroopers intervene

Bootnotes16 Mar 2010 | 106

Jedi chapter seeks leader after master resigns

Surrey feels a great disturbance in the force

Bootnotes09 Feb 2010 | 46

Jedi officers enlist with Scottish police

These are not the crims you're looking for

Bootnotes17 Apr 2009 | 42

Japanese unleash Jedi Obama

Prez also available in James Bond and Samurai versions

Bootnotes07 Apr 2009 | 19

University offers one-day Jedi course

Feel the Force, for 23 quid

Bootnotes12 Sep 2008 | 36

Welsh Darth Vader dodges jail

'The drink is strong in this one'

Bootnotes13 May 2008 | 73