Something For The Weekend

First steps into the world of thought leadership: What could go wrong?

Something for the Weekend I have decided to become a double-spaced, three-word sentenced, humble-bragtastic genius

Networks24 Jun 2022 | 88

Leave that sentient AI alone a mo and fix those racist chatbots first

Something for the Weekend Cue robot armies of whiny digital seven-year-olds complaining they're being 'cancelled'

AI + ML17 Jun 2022 | 84

No more fossil fuel or nukes? In the future we will generate power with magic dust

Something for the Weekend Don’t cross the streams! Why? It would be bad. What do you mean 'bad'?

Bootnotes10 Jun 2022 | 110

The next time your program is 'not responding,' (do not) try these steps

Something for the Weekend Can't open that tin of beans? Put it back in the cupboard and take it out again!

Applications03 Jun 2022 | 153

Failed gambler? How about an algorithm that predicts the future

Something for the Weekend Hopefully an end to '... and you'll never guess what happened next!'

Bootnotes20 May 2022 | 76

Confirmation dialog Groundhog Day: I click OK and it keeps coming back

Something for the Weekend Yes/No/Cancel culture at its worst

Columnists13 May 2022 | 145

Switch off the mic if it makes you feel better – it'll make no difference

Something for the Weekend Treat all those micro-phonies like so many spies in the wire

Bootnotes06 May 2022 | 81

Meetings in the metaverse: Are your Mikes on?

Something for the Weekend You thought Zoom was bad? Welcome to the Thunderdome

Bootnotes29 Apr 2022 | 58

Robots are creepy. Why trust AIs that are even creepier?

Something for the Weekend We know where we stand with wonky-faced hardware. It's the ones we don't recognize as AIs we should worry about

AI + ML22 Apr 2022 | 105

When the expert speaker at an NFT tech panel goes rogue

Something for the Weekend Stick to the script, man! It’s confusing enough already

Bootnotes16 Apr 2022 | 118

Fish mentality: If The Rock told you to eat flies, would you buy my NFT?

Something for the Weekend This week's column coming to you via hologram. Or a spaceship

Bootnotes08 Apr 2022 | 61

The month I worked for DEADHEAD: Yes, that was their job title

Something for the Weekend? We can't have that contractor making us look bad

Columnists01 Apr 2022 | 71

In the graveyard of good ideas, how does yours measure up to these?

Something for the Weekend? You can now read your comics in the metaverse

Bootnotes25 Mar 2022 | 142

Unable to write 'Amusing Weekly Column'. Abort, Retry, Fail?

Something for the Weekend? Don't fret, we're just having a technical

Software18 Mar 2022 | 264

The Human Genome Project will tell us who to support at Eurovision

Something for the Weekend? My parents were not lying to me but… who's the Finn?

Bootnotes11 Mar 2022 | 78

A tale of two dishwashers: Buy one, buy it again, and again

Something for the Weekend? It's all the data's fault, of course… and it's my data so that means it's my fault

Bootnotes25 Feb 2022 | 190

Food for thought on the return to the office

Something for the Weekend? Quality time with human beings? Nah. Gimme some free Monster Munch

Columnists18 Feb 2022 | 87

Make assistive driving safe: Eliminate pedestrians

Something for the Weekend? It’s amazing [thud] I don’t even [thud] have to watch the road [thud]

Software11 Feb 2022 | 186

Have you tried restarting? Reinstalling? Upgrading? Moving house and changing your identity?

Something for the Weekend? Or maybe we could take a quick look at our servers

Applications04 Feb 2022 | 125

How to get banned from social media without posting a thing

Something for the Weekend? Mme D finally takes to the Web 2.0 stage and becomes a bad actor

AI + ML28 Jan 2022 | 130

'Can you identify your assailants?' Yes, they were pixelated! I'd know them anywhere!

Something for the Weekend, Sir? 'Inside' knowledge on the image database conundrum – at 25 frames per second

Bootnotes21 Jan 2022 | 41

Not looking forward to a greyscale 2022? Then look back to the past in 64 colours

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Any colour you like as long as it's black. Or white

Bootnotes07 Jan 2022 | 142

Predictive Dirty Dozen: What will and won't happen in 2022 (unless it doesn’t/does)

Something for the Weekend, Sir? We confidently predict that the predictions in this article will turn out wrong

Columnists31 Dec 2021 | 211

On Christmas night, a computer logs a call to say his user has stopped working…

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Let’s take a look into the future cher-cher-cher…

AI + ML24 Dec 2021 | 88

Thank you, FAQ chatbot, but if I want your help I'll ask for it

Something for the Weekend, Sir? It’s FAQing annoying to tell the truth

Bootnotes17 Dec 2021 | 166

Playing jigsaw on my roof: They can ID you from your hygiene habits

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Pat McGovern knew his way around a trash can

Bootnotes10 Dec 2021 | 74

You forced me to use this fancypants app and now you're asking for a printout?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? 'Just take the meds, Mr Sloper, and enjoy your holiday'

Bootnotes26 Nov 2021 | 121

The ideal sat-nav is one that stops the car, winds down the window, and asks directions

Something for the Weekend, Sir? It's not quite a Jag-you-arr

Networks19 Nov 2021 | 160

One click, one goal, one mission: To get a one-touch flush solution

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Gimme gimme gimme fried chicken

Bootnotes05 Nov 2021 | 75

Remember when you thought fax machines were dead-matter teleporters? Ah, just me, then

Something for the Weekend, Sir? No, things were NOT better in the past, so leave them there

Bootnotes29 Oct 2021 | 131

Judging by the way your face lit up, my inbox just got more attractive

Something for the Weekend, Sir? A message for you, (on your) rudie

Personal Tech22 Oct 2021 | 50

All I want for Christmas is a delivery address that a delivery courier can find

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Send me an SMS and I’ll tell you everything

Bootnotes15 Oct 2021 | 157

Get real: Say what you like about your app but don't be surprised if I trollsplain

Something for the Weekend, Sir? My next column will be written in spaaaaaace

Columnists08 Oct 2021 | 57

2FA? More like 2F-in-the-way: It seems no one wants me to pay for their services after all

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Shut up and take my money

Security01 Oct 2021 | 104

Nothing works any more. Who decided that redundant systems should become redundant?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? It'll all come out in the wash

Bootnotes24 Sep 2021 | 114

So I’ve scripted a life-saving routine. Pah. What really matters is the icon I give it

Something for the Weekend, Sir? J’appuie sur le starter et voici que je quitte la terre

Bootnotes17 Sep 2021 | 119

You walk in with a plan. You leave with GPS-tracking Nordic hiking poles. The same old story, eh?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Please hold me back from the discount aisle in case I buy a USB desk fan

Bootnotes10 Sep 2021 | 116

A speech recognition app goes into a bar. Speak up if you’ve heard it already

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Listen to me, Palmer, now listen to me

Applications03 Sep 2021 | 108

When everyone else is on vacation, it's time to whip out the tiny screwdrivers

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Fixing laptops and solving UX conundra – all in a night’s work

Columnists27 Aug 2021 | 151

Live, die, copy-paste, repeat: Everything is recycled now, including ideas

Something for the Weekend, Sir? We can't rewind, we've gone too far

Bootnotes20 Aug 2021 | 58

Before I agree to let your app track me everywhere, I want something 'special' in return (winks)…

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Help me, officer, I’m lost! 'No problem, sir, you’re right in front of me'

Security13 Aug 2021 | 86

Q: Post-lockdown, where would I like to go? A: As far away from my own head as possible

Something for the Weekend, Sir? About 238,855 miles would do the trick

Bootnotes06 Aug 2021 | 71

You MUST present your official ID (but only the one that's really easy to fake)

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I can show you my Three Widths swimming certificate if it helps

Bootnotes30 Jul 2021 | 104

Is it broken yet? Is it? Is it? Ooh that means I can buy a sparkly, new but otherwise hard-to-justify replacement!

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I may consider offering you cash to break it for me

Personal Tech23 Jul 2021 | 110

The lights go off, broadband drops out, the TV freezes … and nobody knows why (spooky music)

Something for the Weekend, Sir? It might be because technicians maintain an open-door policy

Networks16 Jul 2021 | 103

The world is chaos but my Zoom background is control-freak perfection

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Nudge that potted plant a little to the left aaaaand… action!

Columnists09 Jul 2021 | 96

Devilish plans for your next app update ensure they never happen – unless you start praying

Something for the Weekend, Sir? These things really get my goat

Bootnotes02 Jul 2021 | 81

Who would cross the Bridge of Death? Answer me these questions three! Oh and you'll need two-factor authentication

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I'm not the robot, pal, you are

Security25 Jun 2021 | 74

What job title would YOU want carved on your gravestone? 'Beloved father, Slayer of Dragons, Register of Domains'

Something for the Weekend, Sir? How did I love thee? Let me count the email redirections

Bootnotes18 Jun 2021 | 120

Whatever you've been doing during lockdown, you better stop it right now

Something for the Weekend, Sir? You never did learn to play guitar, did you? Too late now...

Bootnotes11 Jun 2021 | 70

How many remote controls do you really need? Answer: about a bowl-ful

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I don’t care if the football’s on, we’ll have to watch whatever the TV wants us to

Columnists04 Jun 2021 | 148

Whoop! Robot/human high-fives all round! Oh, my fingers have disintegrated

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Food for thought for obese minds

Software28 May 2021 | 56

How much would you pay me to develop a COVID tracking app that actually works? Ah, thought so: nothing

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Meet Guillaume Rozier - a bit like Captain Tom but 76 years younger and no chance of a medal

Software21 May 2021 | 102

Your private data has been nabbed: Please update your life as soon as possible while we deflect responsibility

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Because our golf-obsessed boss has wandered off fondling his balls

Columnists14 May 2021 | 86

Gone in 60 electrons: Digital art swaggers down the cul-de-sac of obsolescence

Something for the Weekend, Sir? No lessons learned from (literally) decades of media format wars

Bootnotes07 May 2021 | 102

So what if I pay peanuts for my home broadband? I demand you fix it NOW!

Something for the Weekend, Sir? The Zoom meeting I’m missing is already miles away

Networks30 Apr 2021 | 86