What do you mean you gave the boss THAT version of the report? Oh, ****ing ****balls
NSFW Who, Me? Say what you mean
Networks18 Oct 2021 | 87
Who, Me?
What is Who, Me?
Who, Me? is a weekly column in which our readers confess to catastrophes they created in the pursuit of IT excellence. Drop an email to whome@theregister.com to anonymously own up to tech mess you caused.
Config cockup leaves Reg reader reaching for the phone
Who, Me? Yet another thing that was really not better in the old days
Columnists11 Oct 2021 | 71
Firewalls? Pfft – it's no match for my mighty spares-bin PC
Who, Me? You say 'temporary', they hear 'permanent'
Security04 Oct 2021 | 90
Don't touch that dial – the new guy just closed the application that no one is meant to close
Who, Me? An unexpected round of Just A Minute for a unsuspecting Weather Presenter
Applications27 Sep 2021 | 124
I would drive 100 miles and I would drive 100 more just to be the man that drove 200 miles to... hit the enter key
Who, Me? When a server crash became a motorway dash
Systems20 Sep 2021 | 83
You want us to make a change? We can do it, but it'll cost you...
Who, Me? How does $100k per character sound? And that's just for labour
Software13 Sep 2021 | 78
BROADER TOPICS
A practical demonstration of the difference between 'resilient' and 'redundant'
Who, Me? Bump and grind in the server racks
Networks06 Sep 2021 | 72
How to stop a content filter becoming a career-shortening network component
Who, Me? He's not just a Big Cheese. He's a very naughty boy
Columnists31 Aug 2021 | 69
Hacking the computer with wirewraps and soldering irons: Just fix the issues as they come up, right?
Who, Me? The neverending battle betweeen youthful optimism and aged cyncism
Columnists23 Aug 2021 | 103
Scalpel! Superglue! This mouse won't fix its own ball
Who, Me? Desk detritus baffles even the brainiest of boffins
Personal Tech16 Aug 2021 | 108
Electrocution? All part of the service, sir!
Who, Me? Going out with a bang
Personal Tech09 Aug 2021 | 145
Undebug my heart: Using Cisco's IOS to take down capitalism – accidentally
Who, Me? Two little letters is all it takes
Networks02 Aug 2021 | 65
Somebody is destined for somewhere hot, and definitely not Coventry
Who, Me? Praise be for Firewalls
Security26 Jul 2021 | 74
How to keep your enterprise up to date by deploying the very latest malware
Who, Me? Salesmen suffer after suspicious surfing
Columnists19 Jul 2021 | 71
Ah, I see you found my PowerShell script called 'SiteReview' – that does not mean what you think it means
Who, Me? Updated It's certainly not for that
Applications12 Jul 2021 | 104
One good deed leads to a storm in an Exchange Server
Who, Me? Enthusiasm and youth are once again no match for age and cunning
Software05 Jul 2021 | 82
Hmmmmm, how to cool that overheating CPU, if only there was a solution...
Who, Me? Garden hose + handy tap = bad times
On-Prem28 Jun 2021 | 60
Updating in production, like a boss
Who, Me? The pain in Spain comes mainly from a lack of training
Software21 Jun 2021 | 130
Do you come from a land Down Under? Where diesel's low and techies blunder
Who, Me? UPS = Uninterruptable Pager Spying
Networks14 Jun 2021 | 102
That thing you were utterly sure would never happen? Yeah, well, guess what …
Who, Me? Never. Test. In. Production.
Applications09 Jun 2021 | 42
Thanks, boss. The accidental creation of a lights-out data centre – what a fun surprise
Who, Me? At least nobody said 'watch this!'
Columnists07 Jun 2021 | 116
Congestion or a Christmas cock-up? A Register reader throws himself under the bus
Who, Me? Sometimes honesty is the best policy
Software31 May 2021 | 83
Big red buttons and very bad language: A primer for life in the IT world
Who, Me? Guess what I learned at school today, Mummy!
Storage24 May 2021 | 114
The future is now, old man: Let the young guns show how to properly cock things up
Who, Me? Phoning it in?
Networks17 May 2021 | 91
Accidentally wiped an app's directory? Hey, just play the 'unscheduled maintenance' card. Now you're a hero
Who, Me? It soothed this raging roomful of wannabe lawyers anyway
Software10 May 2021 | 66
Terminal trickery, or how to improve a novel immeasurably
Who, Me? When contractors go bored: Stuffing the timesheet with shenanigans
On-Prem03 May 2021 | 107
Don't cross the team tasked with policing the surfing habits of California's teens
Who, Me? You don't get me, I'm part of the union
Networks26 Apr 2021 | 96
You want a reboot? I'll give you a reboot! Happy now?
Who, me? Two windows, one tetchy techie – what could possibly go wrong?
Systems19 Apr 2021 | 92
Quality control, Soviet style: Here's another fine message you've gotten me into
Who, Me? Moscow. 1978. It always feels like... somebody's watching me
Networks12 Apr 2021 | 170
A floppy filled with software worth thousands of francs: Techie can't take it, customs won't keep it. What to do?
Who, Me? Halt and catch fire
Columnists05 Apr 2021 | 177
Vegas, baby! A Register reader gambles his software will beat the manual system
Who, Me? The house always wins. Even in the Casino back office
Software29 Mar 2021 | 62
What could be worse than killing a golden goose? Killing someone else's golden goose
Who, Me? When fixing legacy bugs turns out to be a career-limiting move
Software22 Mar 2021 | 110
Why yes, I'll take that commendation for fixing the thing I broke
Who, Me? Behold, the amazing bullsh*tting man
Networks15 Mar 2021 | 77
Just when you thought it was safe to enjoy a beer: Beware the downloaded patch applied in haste
Who, Me? Let us tell you a tale of the Mailman's Apprentice
Systems08 Mar 2021 | 66
Rookie's code couldn't have been so terrible that it made a supermarket spontaneously combust... right?
Who, Me? We'll never know but he was spared the whiteboard of shame
Devops01 Mar 2021 | 151
Forget GameStop: Keyboard warriors and electronic trading have never mixed well
Who, Me? Big Bang? More like Big Bork thanks to a warning shouted too late
Systems22 Feb 2021 | 54
Housekeeping and kernel upgrades do not always make for happy bedfellows
Who, Me? When imposter syndrome turns out to not be a syndrome at all
Software15 Feb 2021 | 114
DBA heroes don't always wear capes. Sometimes they just have a bunch of forgotten permissions
Who, Me? Just because you could, doesn't mean you should
Bootnotes08 Feb 2021 | 38
How do you save an ailing sales pitch? Just burn down the client's office with their own whiteboard
Who, Me? At least it could be wiped clean of evidence
Personal Tech01 Feb 2021 | 123
You would expect a qualified electrician to wire a building to spec, right? Trust... but verify
Who, Me? What could be wrong when two UPSes commit seppuku?
Systems25 Jan 2021 | 239
Two clichés, one headline: 'No good deed goes unpunished' and 'It's always DNS'
Who, Me? Oh good, you fixed it. Now, if you could just put your head on that plate...
Networks18 Jan 2021 | 73
Pop quiz: You've got a roomful of electrical equipment. How do you put out a fire?
Who, Me? Careful with that rack, Eugene
Networks11 Jan 2021 | 55
Server won't boot? Forgot to make that backup? Have no fear, just blame Microsoft
Who, Me? Everything is Windows' fault. Even when it really isn't
Systems04 Jan 2021 | 39
Windows might have frozen – but at least my feet are toasty
Who, Me? Not quite what we meant by Halt and Catch Fire
Personal Tech21 Dec 2020 | 128
Cruise, Kidman and an unfortunate misunderstanding at the local chemist
Who, Me? I'm ready for my close-up, Mr Kubrick
Personal Tech14 Dec 2020 | 96
A 1970s magic trick: Take a card, any card, out of the deck and watch the IBM System/370 plunge into a death spiral
Who, Me? Who is the debugger that took down my mainframe?
Software07 Dec 2020 | 126
For every disastrous rebrand, there is an IT person trying to steer away from the precipice
Who, Me? The Cassandra of 1980s tech: Doomed to warn, but never be heeded
Bootnotes30 Nov 2020 | 147
It's always DNS, especially when a sysadmin makes a hash of their semicolons
Who, Me? Remember the days when 'we made it up as we went along'?
Networks23 Nov 2020 | 151
Panic in the mailroom: The perils of an operating system too smart for its own good
Who, Me? That other 1973 hit: The Dark Side of the Mainframe
On-Prem16 Nov 2020 | 125
The day I took down the data centre- I mean, the day I saved the day. Right, boss?
Who, Me? How many hundred thousand customers?
On-Prem09 Nov 2020 | 62
You only live twice: Once to start the installation, and the other time to finish it off
Who, Me? International adventure, crafty customs, and what not to pack in the hand luggage
Personal Tech02 Nov 2020 | 148
A cautionary tale of virtual floppies and all too real credentials
Who, Me? Only a complete banker would map that to... oh dear...
Networks26 Oct 2020 | 75
Quick thinking and an explanation for everything – key CTO qualities
Who, Me? You thought that presentation would be dull as styrofoam flavoured water when...
Bootnotes19 Oct 2020 | 56
Excel is for amateurs. To properly screw things up, those same amateurs need a copy of Access
Who, Me? Beware the wrong tool in the wrong hands
Software12 Oct 2020 | 144
A decades-old lesson on not inserting Excel where it doesn't belong
Who, Me? A Register reader's sense of déjà vu triggers a bonus column
Software07 Oct 2020 | 185
Big IQ play from IT outsourcer: Can't create batch files if you can't save files. Of any kind
Who, Me? Be careful what you wish for
Security05 Oct 2020 | 88
Inflated figures and customers who were never there. Just another data migration then
Who, Me? Well, this is awkward
Systems28 Sep 2020 | 64
We don't need maintenance this often, surely? Pull it. Oh dear, the system's down
Who, Me? You've been visited by the Don Corleone of code
Software21 Sep 2020 | 95
Typical '80s IT: Good idea leads to additional duties, without extra training or pay, and a nuked payroll system
Who, Me? We know it is a bore, but check your backup and restore
Storage14 Sep 2020 | 101
Competitive techies almost bring distributed disaster upon themselves – and they didn't even find any aliens
Who, Me? Idle hands are SETI's workshop
Systems07 Sep 2020 | 42
Funny, that: Handy script for wiping directories is capable of wreaking havoc beyond a miscreant's wildest dreams
Who, Me? Beware the three options of the apocalypse
Software31 Aug 2020 | 98
This PDP-11/70 was due to predict an election outcome – but no one could predict it falling over
Who, Me? Remember when the only interference was electromagnetic?
Personal Tech24 Aug 2020 | 170
Biting the hand that feeds IT
