A weekly column in which Register readers confess to messes they made in the pursuit of IT excellence.
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Who, Me? Stop that van!
Software16 Mar 2020 | 49
You've duked it out with OS/2 – but how to deal with these troublesome users? Nukem
Who, Me? Disk-wiping utility was meant to be a force for good, not evil
Personal Tech09 Mar 2020 | 141
We regret to inform you there are severe delays on the token ring due to IT nerds blasting each other to bloody chunks
Who, Me? We're all Doomed
On-Prem02 Mar 2020 | 127
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to save data from a computer that should have died aeons ago
Who, Me? Drain you of your sanity, face the thing that should not be
Personal Tech24 Feb 2020 | 157
C'mon SPARCky, it's just an admin utility update. What could possibly go wrong?
Who, Me? Now, where was I? [tappity tap] ... BALLS!
Systems17 Feb 2020 | 174
Who needs the A-Team or MacGyver when there's a techie with an SCSI cable?
Who, Me? When two become one in the server room
Systems10 Feb 2020 | 163
Ah, night shift in the 1970s. Ciggies, hipflasks, ADVENT... and fault-prone disk drives the size of washing machines
Who, Me? Starting from scratch. A really big scratch
On-Prem03 Feb 2020 | 127
Take DOS, stir in some Netware, add a bit of Windows and... it's ALIIIIVE!
Who, Me? Behold the Frankenworkstation
Software27 Jan 2020 | 170
The delights of on-site working – sun, sea and... WordPad wrangling?
Who, Me? Things can only get better, unless someone misplaces the source
Software20 Jan 2020 | 92
There's something fishy going down in the computer lab
Who, Me? Macro or Mackerel? Whatever it is, it looks o-fish-al. We'll get our sealskin coat
Personal Tech13 Jan 2020 | 72
A Notepad nightmare leaves sysadmin with something totally unprintable
Who, Me? When curiosity killed the print job. All the print jobs
Networks06 Jan 2020 | 156
The time PC Tools spared an aerospace techie the blushes
Who, Me? Look before you leap, and by leap, we mean run del *.*
Storage23 Dec 2019 | 110
Cheque out my mad metal frisbee skillz... oops. Lights out!
Who, Me? The day a Reg reader learned that honesty (and cheese) is its own reward
On-Prem20 Dec 2019 | 136
Wham, bam, thank you scram button: Now we have to go all MacGyver on the server room
Who, Me? Gone fishing for power – with a coat hanger
On-Prem16 Dec 2019 | 131
Remember the Dutch kid who stuck his finger in a dam to save the village? Here's the IT equivalent
Who, Me? It only took colleagues an hour to notice our hero was missing
On-Prem09 Dec 2019 | 206
Vote rigging, election fixing, ballot stuffing: Just another day in the life of a Register reader
Who, Me? Nudity, inebriation and a desire to see a band live on stage. The Christmas countdown has begun!
Software02 Dec 2019 | 104
Beware the trainee with time on his hands and an Acorn manual on his desk
Who, Me? ASCII control codes, Teletext and BBC Model B micros – it's a 1980s Who, Me?
On-Prem25 Nov 2019 | 191
Email! HUH! Yeah. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing...
Who, Me? ... thanks to today's entrant in the Who, Me? hall of shame
Software18 Nov 2019 | 62
Hyphens of mass destruction: When a clumsy finger meant the end for hundreds of jobs
Who, Me? From a time before: 'This will do something awful. Are you sure? (Y/N)'
On-Prem11 Nov 2019 | 153
If you're going to exploit work's infrastructure to torrent, you better damn well know how to hide it
Who, Me? Thank $DEITY for VPNs and, er, Service Pack 3... yeah, that's it. Service Pack 3!
On-Prem04 Nov 2019 | 100
I'm not Boeing anywhere near that: Coder whizz heads off jumbo-sized maintenance snafu
Who, Me? Disturbing omissions in 747 documentation
Software28 Oct 2019 | 238
Don't look too closely at what is seeping out of the big Dutch pipe
Who, Me? 'I wonder what our users are surfing for… Oh'
Networks21 Oct 2019 | 131
Lies, damn lies, and KPIs: Let's not fix the formula until we have someone else to blame
Who, Me? When 95 + (5 * RAND()) is all your spreadsheet needs
Software14 Oct 2019 | 173
Hey, I wrote this neat little program for you guys called the IMAC User Notification Tool
Who, Me? Implementations, Moves and Changes were delighted – for a time
Software07 Oct 2019 | 210
IT workers: Speaking truth to douchebags since 1977
Who, Me? When boot messages go bad
Bootnotes30 Sep 2019 | 113
Calling all the Visual Basic snitches: Keep quiet about it and so will he...
Who, Me? Regulatory compliance? We've heard of it
Software23 Sep 2019 | 77
Justice served: There is no escape from the long server log of the law
Who, Me? A handover or handcuffs? Take your pick, eh?
Systems16 Sep 2019 | 167
Handcranked HTML and JPEG japes. What could possibly go wrong?
Who, Me? Friends don't let friends click Publish
Systems09 Sep 2019 | 95
Divert the power to the shields. 'I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain!'
Who, Me? Always check the roof – you never know what might (not) be lurking there
Systems02 Sep 2019 | 180
Beware the developer with time on his hands and dreams of Disney
Who, Me? I like trucking, I like trucking and I like to truck
Software26 Aug 2019 | 91
It will never be safe to turn off your computer: Prankster harnesses the power of Windows 95 to torment fellow students
Who, Me? Screen says 'Data save failed' so it must be true
Software19 Aug 2019 | 188
One person's harmless japery can be another's night of LaserJet Lego
Who, Me? For goodness sake, please don't go reading any printer manuals
On-Prem12 Aug 2019 | 214
Y2K, Windows NT4 Server and Notes. It's a 1990s Who, Me? special
Who, Me? Or: yet more uses for CD trays in racked servers
Software05 Aug 2019 | 121
Migrating an Exchange Server to the Cloud? What could possibly go wrong?
Who, Me? Or how a Reg reader battled the dark heart of Active Directory and lived to tell the tale
On-Prem29 Jul 2019 | 52
When you play the game of Big Spendy Thrones, nobody wins – your crap chair just goes missing
Who, Me? Zoinks! There's a crime to be solved
Personal Tech22 Jul 2019 | 94
Hell hath no fury like a radar engineer scorned
Who, Me? More than four decades on, we can finally shine the light on this tale
On-Prem15 Jul 2019 | 179
I don't know but it's been said, Amphenol plugs are made with lead
Who, Me? That feeling when a government contract slips through your fingers
On-Prem08 Jul 2019 | 133
A Register reader turns the computer room into a socialist paradise
Who, me? Terminate and do what?
Software01 Jul 2019 | 123
Having bank problems? I feel bad for you son: I've got 25 million problems, but a bulk upload ain't one
Who, Me? It was acceptable in the Eighties
Systems24 Jun 2019 | 161
Greatest threat facing IT? Not the latest tech giant cockwomblery – it's just tired engineers
Who, Me? Friends don't let friends use TRUNCATE
On-Prem17 Jun 2019 | 95
Idle Computer Science skills are the Devil's playthings
Who, Me? It isn't only birds that like nesting
Security10 Jun 2019 | 168
I'll just clear down the database before break. What's the worst that could happen? It's a trial
Who, Me? Hey – watch where you're pointing that code!
On-Prem03 Jun 2019 | 101
If servers go down but no one hears them, did they really fail? Think about it over lunch
Who, me? Then wonder why the office is in full panic mode on your return
Systems27 May 2019 | 127
Exclusive: Windows for Workgroups terror the Tartan Bandit confesses all to The Register
Who, Me? It was the nerd, with the wallpaper, in the .ini file
On-Prem20 May 2019 | 192
Hi! It looks like you're working on a marketing strategy for a product nowhere near release! Would you like help?
Who, Me? Engineer reveals departmental porkies, gets told never to leave his desk again
On-Prem13 May 2019 | 151
If the thing you were doing earlier is 'drop table' commands, ctrl-c, ctrl-v is not your friend
Who, Me? £500k social network scotched less than two weeks after launch
On-Prem07 May 2019 | 110
Out-of-office email ping-pong fills server after server over festive break
Who, Me? Techie swiftly looks for a new job – but takes the 'embellishments' off his CV
Systems29 Apr 2019 | 137
Take your pick: 0/1/* ... but beware – your click could tank an entire edition of a century-old newspaper
Who, Me? Sh*t! Sh*t sh*t sh*t
On-Prem22 Apr 2019 | 138
A quick cup of coffee leaves production manager in fits and a cleaner in tears
Who, Me? Lockable doors on the server room? Those are for losers
On-Prem15 Apr 2019 | 227
Overzealous n00b takes out point-of-sale terminals across the UK on a Saturday afternoon
Who, Me? Finds his security pass doesn't work the next day
On-Prem08 Apr 2019 | 161
It was all Yellow: Mass email about a Coldplay CD breaks the internet
Who, Me? Let's be honest, probably for the best no one could buy the record
Systems01 Apr 2019 | 54
Techies take turns at shut-down top trumps
Who, Me? There's more than one way to accidentally power-down a workplace, you know
On-Prem25 Mar 2019 | 157
College student with 'visions of writing super-cool scripts' almost wipes out faculty's entire system
Who, Me? Turns out he probably wasn't smart enough to automate a Unix system update
Software18 Mar 2019 | 149
Packet switching pickle prompts potential pecuniary problems
Who, Me? Techie's 'oops' moment goes unnoticed due to massive bills
Networks11 Mar 2019 | 67
Ah, this military GPS system looks shoddy but expensive. Shall we try to break it?
Who, Me? Did we say break? We meant test its 'survivability'
Security04 Mar 2019 | 203
Blue Monday: Efforts to inspire teamwork with swears back-fires for n00b team manager
Who, Me? Ah yes, that cheque, just make it out to a Mr Stonking C*ck
On-Prem25 Feb 2019 | 84
Techie in need of a doorstop picks up 'chunk of metal' – only to find out it's rather pricey
Who, Me? Seems to us like you would remember an incident like that...
On-Prem18 Feb 2019 | 173
Hold horror stories: Chief, we've got a f*cking idiot on line 1. Oh, you heard all that
Who, Me? 'Idiot? You're calling me a f*cking idiot?!'
On-Prem11 Feb 2019 | 166
Sysadmin's three-line 'annoyance-buster' busts painstakingly crafted, crucial policy
Who, Me? Whoops! I've broken the internet... but hey, everyone gets a coffee break
On-Prem04 Feb 2019 | 65
'Numpty new boy' lets the boss take fall for mailbox obliteration
Who, Me? Drunk confessional two years later failed to impress
Software28 Jan 2019 | 67