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Seriously, boss? You want that stupid password? OK, you get that stupid password
Who, Me? Fed-up techie wields the magic of malicious compliance on his way out the door
Offbeat29 May 2023 | 100
Who, Me?
What is Who, Me?
Who, Me? is a weekly column in which our readers confess to catastrophes they created in the pursuit of IT excellence - and usually managed to get away with.
The column is a light-hearted look at the world of work and tech.
We're always open to new stories we can feature in Who, Me? If you have one to tell, drop an email to whome@theregister.com to anonymously own up to tech mess you caused.
Rigorous dev courageously lied about exec's NSFW printouts – and survived long enough to quit with dignity
Who, Me? Log files don't lie and in this case one nasty incident spoke to a far deeper malaise
Security22 May 2023 | 86
An important system on project [REDACTED] was all [REDACTED] up
Who Me? Luckily, [REDACTED] was there to save the day
Security15 May 2023 | 45
Owner of 'magic spreadsheet' tried to stay in the Lotus position until forced to Excel
who, me? Sometimes legacy systems must be preserved to safeguard a vital function. This was not one of those times
Software08 May 2023 | 124
Your security failure was so bad we have to close the company … NOT!
Who, Me? There are pranks, and savage pranks, and this prank when the CTO and HR ganged up on a very stressed techie
Security01 May 2023 | 48
Support chap put PC into 'drying mode' and users believed it was real
Who, Me? Who annoys auditors? It's like picking on alligators – it won't end well
Personal Tech24 Apr 2023 | 83
BROADER TOPICS
Student requested access to research data. And waited. And waited. And then hacked to get root
Who, Me? The punishment – Windows 98 administration chores – was far worse than the crime
Security17 Apr 2023 | 85
Pager hack faxed things up properly, again, and again, and again
Who, Me? Where else can you read a story that starts with a Wang hack and ends with a wedding?
Offbeat10 Apr 2023 | 81
Defunct comms link connected to nothing at a fire station – for 15 years
Who, Me? Realization they'd burned money for ages led to smoldering solution rather than angry conflagration
Networks03 Apr 2023 | 131
Botched migration resulted in a great deal: One for the price of two
Who Me? Moving premises can have all manner of hidden traps. Here's one to watch for
Networks27 Mar 2023 | 99
IT phone home: How to run up a $20K bill in two days and get away with it by blaming Cisco
Who, Me? Badly configured routers ended up costing a bundle
Networks20 Mar 2023 | 141
Techie wiped a server, nobody noticed, so a customer kept paying for six months
Who, me? A missed migration mitigated the mistake
On-Prem13 Mar 2023 | 90
Don't worry, that system's not actually active – oh, wait …
who, me? Fat-fingered admin escaped because the last false alarm was caused by a frozen pizza and a toaster oven
On-Prem06 Mar 2023 | 258
Backup tech felt the need – the need for speed. And pastries and Tomb Raider
Who, Me? Ignoring the manual led to near-failure of mission to escape with precious pile of verified DVDs
Storage27 Feb 2023 | 92
A tip for content filter evaluators: erase the list of sites you tested, don't share them on 100 PCs
Who, Me? The sysadmin who made this mistake just barely survived the NSFW backlash
Software20 Feb 2023 | 182
Learn the art of malicious compliance: doing exactly what you were asked, even when it's wrong
Who, Me? Smart-alec worker found a way to avoid nasty, boring jobs – by doing what he was told
Security13 Feb 2023 | 203
Eager young tearaway almost ruined Christmas with printer paper
Who, Me? In the age of tractor-fed printers and perforated paper, telling a junior to tear it up was close to negligence
On-Prem06 Feb 2023 | 94
Shag pile PC earned techies a carpeting from HR
Who, Me? Thankfully a veep with a sense of humor pulled the rug out
Personal Tech30 Jan 2023 | 48
Dear Stupid, I write with news I did not check the content of the [Name] field before sending this letter
Who, Me? This is what happens when database field names are changed without proper documentation
Software23 Jan 2023 | 104
Sysadmin infected bank with 'alien virus' that sucked CPUs dry
who, me? No good deed escapes scripting SNAFUs
On-Prem16 Jan 2023 | 68
Mixing an invisible laser and a fire alarm made for a disastrous demo
Who, Me? Dark deeds are no way to close a deal
Science09 Jan 2023 | 60
Meet the merry pranksters who keep the workplace interesting, if not productive
Who, Me? What to do with the boss who refuses to answer the phone? Or wants a bigger cubicle? Revenge, that's what
On-Prem26 Dec 2022 | 83
When we asked how you crashed the system we wanted an explanation not a demonstration
Who, Me? One dumb downtime-inducing panic is survivable. The second is a career-killer
Offbeat19 Dec 2022 | 110
Server installer fails to spot STOP button – because he wasn't an archaeologist
Who, me? Confoundingly camouflaged control covered in cruft confounds careful contractor, crashes kit
On-Prem12 Dec 2022 | 159
Programming error created billion-dollar mistake that made the coder ... a hero?
who, me? No crypto needed, just a project with a tough deadline that nobody minded missing
Software05 Dec 2022 | 188
How not to test a new system: push a button and wait to see what happens
Who, me? How to make an IBM engineer hyperventilate, or get a promotion: see above.
Systems28 Nov 2022 | 88
Job 1: Get the boss on the network. Job 2: Figure out why Job 1 broke the network for everyone else
Who, Me? Running a theme park Help Desk was a non-stop roller coaster ride, and not in a fun way
Networks21 Nov 2022 | 52
Just follow the instructions … no wait, not that instruction to lock everyone out of everything
Who, Me? When RTFM goes bad
On-Prem14 Nov 2022 | 164
Run a demo on live data? Sure! What could possibly go wrong? Hang on. Are you sure that's not working?
who, me? To quote the great philosopher Han Solo: Don't get cocky
Software07 Nov 2022 | 56
The boss worked in a fishbowl, so office tricks were a treat
Who, Me? Phones weren't made to fly
Personal Tech31 Oct 2022 | 111
Data loss prevention emergency tactic: keep your finger on the power button for the foreseeable future
Who, Me? When switches really were switches, one reader managed to avert a potential disaster
Systems24 Oct 2022 | 131
Loathsome eighties ladder-climber levelled by a custom DOS prompt
Who, Me? This wasn't WarGames – it was far more serious
Software17 Oct 2022 | 114
Tetchy trainee turned the lights down low to teach turgid lecturer a lesson
Who, Me? Sure, I’ll sit here all day taking notes because you’re too cheap to print them out
Personal Tech03 Oct 2022 | 119
Bad UI killed the radio star
Who, Me? Rules, it turns out, are not meant to be broken. Especially by the person who wrote the rule about how to protect data
Storage19 Sep 2022 | 44
Salesperson's tech dream delivered by ill-equipped consultant who charged for the inevitable fix
Who,Me? ‘I had a sharp new suit and a misplaced sense of confidence’ – and made a costly mistake
Channel05 Sep 2022 | 56
You can never have too many backups. Also, you can never have too many backups
Who, Me? A Reg reader comes to appreciate the value of paper
Columnists29 Aug 2022 | 116
In a time before calculators, going the extra mile at work sometimes didn't add up
Who, Me? New kid on the block risked decimating colleagues' side hustle
Software22 Aug 2022 | 347
Keep your cables tidy. You never know when someone might need some wine
Who, Me? Brute force and ignorance does not win the day
On-Prem15 Aug 2022 | 86
Yeah, we'll just take that first network handshake. What could possibly go wrong?
Who, Me? Almost taking the fall for another person's mistake
Networks08 Aug 2022 | 93
A character catastrophe for a joker working his last day
Who, Me? Or: How to give 1,000 workers an extended lunchbreak
On-Prem25 Jul 2022 | 128
Just because you failed doesn't mean you weren't right
Who, Me? And this is why we test the tests
Offbeat18 Jul 2022 | 76
Getting that syncing feeling after an Exchange restore
Who, Me? We've got the whole weekend. What could go wrong?
Columnists04 Jul 2022 | 83
You need to RTFM, but feel free to use your brain too
Who, Me? But I was only following the procedures!
Systems27 Jun 2022 | 194
Know the difference between a bin and /bin unless you want a new doorstop
Who, Me? Short sharp loss of privileges for poor sysadmin who emptied that directory
Personal Tech20 Jun 2022 | 154
Whatever you do, don't show initiative if you value your job
Who, Me? If I delete all these duplicate files, everything will run much smoother!
Software13 Jun 2022 | 99
Brute force and whiskey: The solution to all life's problems
Who, Me? Just make sure to drink it AFTER the rocket has successfully launched
Science06 Jun 2022 | 85
Keeping your head as an entire database goes pear-shaped
Who, Me? How do you spell 'backup' again? 'D' 'R' 'O' 'P'...
Databases30 May 2022 | 135
Beware the fury of a database developer torn from tables and SQL
Who, Me? Not so much process privilege rings, more circles of hell
Databases23 May 2022 | 176
September 16, 1992, was not a good day to be overly enthusiastic about your job
Who, Me? If I get in early and work hard, everyone will notice, right?
Columnists16 May 2022 | 64
An international incident or just some finger trouble at the console?
Who, Me? All routers are equal, but some are more equal than others
Networks09 May 2022 | 114
A discounting disaster averted at the expense of one's own employment
Who, Me? I know what this process needs: Microsoft Access!
Databases02 May 2022 | 87
In IT, no good deed ever goes unpunished
Who, Me? When being helpful can mean being shown the door
Columnists25 Apr 2022 | 71
An early crack at network management with an unfortunate logfile
Who, Me? It's a backronym, right?
Software18 Apr 2022 | 61
What do you do when all your source walks out the door?
Who, Me? Where the phrase 'don't put all your eggs in one basket' originates
Software11 Apr 2022 | 125
If you fire someone, don't let them hang around a month to finish code
Who, Me? Beware the terminated techie: Revenge is a dish best preceded by an asterisk
Software04 Apr 2022 | 282
Debugging source is even harder when you can't stop laughing at it
Who, Me? Forgive the self-taught Visual Basic programmer, for they know not what they do. Or do they?
Software28 Mar 2022 | 209
The IBM System/360 Model 40 told you to WHAT now?
Who, Me? When a software update reveals what you really think
Software21 Mar 2022 | 85
Prototype app outperforms and outlasts outsourced production version
Who, Me? Behind every successful company there is that one weird Visual Basic 3 app still running the show
Applications14 Mar 2022 | 103
IT blamed after HR forgets to install sockets in new office
Who, Me? Walls? Check. Windows? Check. Did we forget something? Yes, but just feel the carpet
On-Prem07 Mar 2022 | 245
IT advice fuelled by beer is the best IT advice of all, right?
Who, Me? Taking aim at the messenger
On-Prem28 Feb 2022 | 51
Beware the techie who takes things literally
Who, Me? 'If it works already, why pay' says the boss... because of course he does
Columnists21 Feb 2022 | 94
Beware the big bang in the network room
Who, Me? Trust me, we're going to need a bigger maintenance window
Systems14 Feb 2022 | 101
Biting the hand that feeds IT
