HP • Page 1 • Tag • The Register

Inflated figures and customers who were never there. Just another data migration then

US finds new Huawei to hurt China with new sanctions at top chip maker SMIC

Scre-EE-m if you wanna go faster: BT's mobile network reigns supreme in UK-wide speed and latency tests

Meet the ‘DPU’ – accelerated network cards designed to go where CPUs and GPUs can’t be bothered

Windows to become emulation layer atop Linux kernel, predicts Eric Raymond

TikTok wins reprieve as judge rules it can stay in American iOS, Android app stores for now

Exercise-tracking app Strava to give away data sweated out after four billion runs, rides and rambles

Brexit travel permits designed to avoid 7,000-lorry jams come January depend on software that won't be finished till April

Feds warn foreign disinformation will be spamming US voters well after the November election to sow discord and doubt

Too many staff have privileged work accounts for no good reason, reckon IT bods

Are injection flaws the Bohemian Rhapsody of cybersecurity?

Putin to Trump: Let's collude to stop election hacking

Not Particularly Mortifying: IEEE eggheads probe npm registry, say JavaScript libs not as insecure as feared

Microservices guru says think serverless, not Kubernetes: You don't want to manage 'a towering edifice of stuff'

Imagine working for GitHub and writing a command-line interface for the platform, then GitHub makes an 'official' one

Anglian Water fishes for on-trend laundry list – including low-code work – in £24m trawl

Alphabet promises to no longer bung tens of millions of dollars to alleged sex pest execs who quit mid-probe

Looking for a new tech job? Just browsing? This week's list includes roles for devs, engineers, and Perl maestros

'Robbery, economic plunder, victim of larcenous cronyism and a heist'

WeWork Won’tWork in China, at least not as majority owner

Sweetheart tax deal appeal: European Commission takes €13bn Apple state aid claim to the EU's highest court

Help! My printer won't print no matter how much I shout at it!

Hootsuite melts ICE deal after staff revolt: CEO vows not to divide biz like agents divided families at the US border

Facebook is the internet's cigarette: Addictive and laced with nasty stuff – 'shocking images, graphic videos, headlines that incite outrage'

Geek's Guide

Not the Southern Rail of the stars: Rocket Lab plans frequent, regular trips to Venus from 2023

FYI: Mind how you go. We're more or less oblivious to 75% of junk in geosynchronous orbits around Earth

Bennu Jerry's, anyone? OSIRIS-REx probe to attempt 3 scoops of asteroid next month before bringing samples home

NASA's hefty Martian rover will use an AI brain on a robot arm to map out signs of ancient life on Red Planet

Stop us if you've heard this one before: Crypto exchange cracked, Bitcoin burgled

Bad boys bad boys, what you gonna do? Los Angeles Police Department found fibbing about facial recognition use

First they came for chess, then Go... and now, oh for crying out loud, AI systems can beat us at curling

SharePoint Syntex: Microsoft rolls out AI that automatically categorises documents

Verity Stob

First-world problems: The pumpkin spice latte is here, but the Starbucks loyalty card app has wiped my balance

Can The Register run Crysis Remastered? Yes, but we don't see why you would want to

Onwards! To the airport and adventure! And this rather lachrymose Linux screen

Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of 'Advanced Night Repair' skin cream helping NASA to commercialise space

Articles about HP

Little Timmy might not get that notebook this Christmas: HP warns of CPU, panel shortages in run-up to holiday quarter

Is this some Apple marketing? Oh no, Intel still hasn't sorted its s*** out

Intel, HP, Tesla, etc protest to US monopoly watchdog: Are you just gonna let Qualcomm patent-tax us to death?

You had teeth once, FTC – use them

Former HP CEO and Republican Meg Whitman – who split HP with mixed success – says Donald Trump can't run a business

Vows to vote for Democrat Joe Biden instead - as will ex-HP chief Carly Fiorina

In the halcyon days before Brexit, takeover attempts, and COVID-19, HP made 1.3% pre-tax profit on sales at UK limb

PC giant blames restructure costs

Choose your own adventure: HP's new Omen 15 gaming laptop offers choice between AMD and Intel processors

Are you Team Red or Team Blue?

HP's hoping it'll be second time lucky with launch of Reverb G2 nerd goggles

'Keeping all of the best elements from the G1'... and none of the bad, please

Lawsuit klaxon: HP, HPE accused of coordinated plan to oust older staff in favor of cheaper, compliant youngsters

IBM isn't the only IT giant said to be unfairly binning elders

Quanta Storage tells court: We’d love to hand over the $439m we owe HP Inc but, you know, coronavirus...

If push comes to shove, PC giant could get 0.2% on the dollar in recompense

Florida man might just stick it to HP for injecting sneaky DRM update into his printers that rejected non-HP ink

World crosses fingers

Feeling hot, hot, hot... in British Columbia? In December?

Bork!Bork!Bork!Overheating HP hardware disrupts festive ad flinging

Talk about ill-gotten gains: Coronavirus KOs Xerox's $30bn months-long hostile takeover bid of HP Inc

Turmoil in the financial markets fells ambitious acquisition plan

Stockholders, assemble. HP's latest argument: Do you really trust Xerox to take us over during a pandemic recession?

Execs make new plea to shareholders in hostile takeover battle

Xerox slurps something that isn't HP Inc: Brit managed print services houses Altodigital and ITEC Connect

Prices undisclosed but you can bet it was cheaper

Oh, we may have found the COVID-19 silver lining: Coronavirus pandemic halts Xerox hostile takeover of HP

And nothing to do with stock-market crash, nope, no way

Stop us if you've heard this one before: HP Inc rejects Xerox's $36.5bn buyout plan as takeover saga drags on

The buy price, the debts... won't someone think of the HP shareholders?

HP hostile takeover warms up: Xerox queues print job cash_and_shares.pdf, mails it to the board to mull over

PC-and-printers biz will 'carefully review and evaluate the offer' before, presumably, deciding: No

HP Ink: No way, Xerox. We're not accepting your takeover. Well, we'd never say never. Maybe even maybe? Hello, you still there? Please?

Absolutely not entertaining an offer that could you just repeat one more time?

This is your last chance, HP. There's no turning back. You take blue poison pill, the story ends. You take the red Xerox pill, you stay in Wonderland

Photocopier goliath hits back at PC giant's attempt to scupper takeover

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